Before I kick this afternoon’s proceedings off please allow me to say that I am surprised that Kid Fury hasn’t featured this Gunshine State hit as Hood Rat Track of the Day. This shit is right up there with Ask Gary and Florida No Fault commercials!

UPDATE: He did.

Seeing as if this song has been altering my universe in ways I can’t begin to explain since last summer I thought it was high time for me to share it with Crunkland. Now get looose, get looose!

I think I found the opening act for The 2009 EBT Awards. Now run me my money.

Syleena Johnson has penned a song that was inspired by your cousin T-Bird’s favorite talk show host for her upcoming album, Chapter 4: Labor Pains.

“Maury Povich’s producer said he played the song over and over again in his office for days when they received it,” said Johnson.

She flew to New York City in February to tape her appearance on the show, which aired on Thursday Feb. 12.

“The best part was his face when I sang it and the fact that he was so honored! I was honored that he was honored! It was an awesome experience,” she shared, before adding: “I was so proud because I wrote it, all by myself.”

The popularity of the tune, which deals with baby momma drama synonymous with topics from the long-running talk show, has folks wondering if it will be the next single from CD. [source]

“I wrote it all by myself,” eh? I’m not going to even go there since she seems to be a nice woman and all. Be on the look out for my debut single “Sally Jesse’s Boot Camp Blues” written by Keri Hilson off of my debut album Prelude: First Day Heavy Bleeding And Cramping.

The only reason I elected to spread the fuckery that is “Wuz Up Wit Da Cookies” even bothering to do this post is because The Dealer is constantly running around singing the hook for months now. I know, I know . . . trust me, I’m only here for the money.

But I digress.

“Wuz Up Wit Da Cookies” isn’t an ode to America’s favorite snack, it’s about the pursuit of snatch! Juney Boomdata poses this question when approached by an overly inquisitive female at the mall. As you probably have guessed the dirty version is titled “Wuz Up Wit Da Pussy” [gasp!] but this version features Soulja Boy.

Soulja Boy.

Take a listen under the hood.

Former Gel N’ Weave member Diamond strutted down the red carpet at the BET Hip-Hop Awards [click here for flicks from the show] on Sunday wearing a studded corset from Fredrick’s of Hollywood and boots by Aldo. Girl, you so classy! What’s your verdict?

Although he may brag about being able to bench press 375 pounds on his MySpace profile Richmond, California rapper Gritsitory [I bullshit you not] can thank his sculpted abs on the hand work of top plastic surgeon Dr. David Matlock. Long story short, after I peeped this dude on Dr. 90210 performing some wack ass song [along side his boo La Flora Venenosa] and went straight to Google.

And then I exhaled. Hit up his Myspace profile and listen to the track “1 Stalker” and call me in the morning.

30-year-old Detroit rapper T-Baby, the woman responsible for the most incredible record of the year, “It’s So Cold In The D,” spoke to Blackarazzi.com about – - wait for it – - haters and negative criticism.

If she doesn’t make Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008 list I am shutting this site down and joining k-Ci and Jo Jo on their national tour of crack houses and Applebee’s restaurants.

“I really don’t care,” she said in a phone interview last week. “They’re going to hate anyway on me.”

The former Denby High School student, who cites Mary J. Blige as an influence, wrote the song for Mason Graham, her friend who was shot and killed at a Coney Island in 2006. She recorded the song last year at a studio on Eight Mile, and the video — which also features several of Myles’ friends, as well as her 10-year-old son — was shot last October by local videographer Leo Williams . . .

Williams, who shot the video on a $300 budget, defends T-Baby and the video in an e-mail written to The Detroit News. “The pain she felt drove her to do this,” he writes. “It came from her soul, which is something a lot of (detractors) haven’t got or haven’t gotten in touch with lately.” He calls the song a “poignant little ditty.”

Honey, I’m home! It feels fan-damn-tastic to take a break from the monotony of sitting in front of the computer writing about these dumb ass celebrities and assorted fuckery every day. As much as I may enjoy maintaining this site Mama gotta have a life too.

But let’s get on with it, shall we? This fine piece of work located above is courtesy of Crunkster Nesha and features one of your cousins who miraculously scored some studio time.

Meerkats are having the best year ever.

What in the Friends of Distinction hell?! Gel N Weave put on their best lace fronts and sex up their images in the video for “Circles.” There’s nothing quite like listening to country ass window lickers rap about relationship woes and relations.