Thigh Rub Tuesdays: Watch The Miss Thicker Than A Snicker Pageant

One thing to keep in mind before pressing play: If the powers that control the universe wanted us all skinny the dollar menu would have never been invented.

The Miss Thicker Than A Snicker pageant is here to salute all the women who have friction burns on the inside of their thighs by showering them all with love and appreciation. Here’s a Burger King crown. Wear it with pride.

O-P-U-L-E-N-C-E: Liza Minnelli Owns Everything

liza minelli2 zpsb7e3dd57 O P U L E N C E: Liza Minnelli Owns Everything

You see the outfit bitch? She is killing you hoes! Liza Minnelli is letting you know that she can roll up to the scene draped in 1000 thread count bed sheets and still make you have to hold tight to your man of the evening.

The legend among the girls made an appearance and the 86th Annual Academy Awards wearing her favorite orthopedic shoes and OMG Girls inspired wig from the Vivica A. Foxx ‘Hey I Bumped Uglies With 50 Cent In My Hey Day’ Collection, all the while letting her chest pillows free roam.

liza minelli killing you hoes O P U L E N C E: Liza Minnelli Owns Everything

Judy Garland’s daughter wasn’t amused when Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres joked that she looked like a male impersonator. “And I have to say one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonators I have seen in my entire life,” DeGeneres cracked to the audience’s amusement — and Auntie Liza’s annoyance.

“Just really, seriously,” DeGeneres added. “Good job, sir.”

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Grand Hustle: Girl Scout Sells 117 Boxes Of Cookies In 2 Hours Outside Weed Dispensary

girl scout zps1eb826b0 Grand Hustle: Girl Scout Sells 117 Boxes Of Cookies In 2 Hours Outside Weed Dispensary

“I’m emotional, I hug the block.” — Young Jeezy, “Go Crazy”

When Gucci Mane recorded the How To Get Rich Quick Guide known as “My Kitchen” it was up to the masses to take notes and apply it accordingly to their master plan. One 13-year-old Girl Scout is achieving great success in business by doing just that.

Danielle Lei and her mother set up shop outside the Green Cross store, a pot dispensary in San Francisco, California, with crowd favorites such as Thin Mints and Samoas. With the store’s blessing, Lei sold 117 boxes in two hours. Holli Bert, a spokeswoman for the Green Cross, said that after just 45 minutes, Lei had to call for back-up cookies to replenish her stock.

“You put it in terms that they may understand,” Lei’s mother, Carol, told Mashable. “I’m not condoning it, I’m not saying go out in the streets and take marijuana. It also adds a little bit of cool factor. I can be a cool parent for a little bit.”

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Black Music Month Spotlight: Get Nasty With Lucille Bogan

If you thought that bragging on the 32 flavors of your juice box was a great creation of this generation then think again. Before Trina was found in a strip club and Khia was accidentally created due to Jack Daniels and an expired condom, there was the Grandmother of Coochie slanging herself: Lucille Bogan.

Born April 1, 1897 in Amory, Mississippi (I’m sure plenty of you have cousins or great uncles near there you owe a phone call), Lucille shows how Harriet Tubman was able to keep control of all those runaway slaves on the Underground Railroad.

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Seasoned And Sauteed To Perfection: Verdine White Attends The 4th Annual Essence Black Women In Music Event

verdine white Seasoned And Sauteed To Perfection: Verdine White Attends The 4th Annual Essence Black Women In Music Event

The only times it’s normal for a woman’s uterus to contract without raising cause for concern is while breastfeeding and whenever Verdine White enters their peripheral vision.

Fresh off the success of his spectacular halftime performance with Beyonce and Kelandria at Super Bowl XLVII — get over it, Keyshia — the illustriously greased one graced Greystone Mannor Supperclub in West Hollywood for the 4th Annual Essence Black Women In Music Event on Thursday (February 7).

Touch this skin honey, touch all of this skin! You just can’t take it.

I regret to be the bearer of bad news to those born after the year 1990 but no amount of binging, purging, and praying can guarantee the same amazing results as what you see above. Supplement what you have with plenty of prenatal vitamins and raw shea butter.

Check out Verdine White on the 2013 Grammy Awards red carpet with his equally stunning arm candy inside.

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Spotted: Prince, Paris And Blanket Jackson Stunt With Auntie La Toya

pink drink1 Spotted: Prince, Paris And Blanket Jackson Stunt With Auntie La Toya

Fashion. politics, and face – The Jackson clan owned everything last week at the Mr. Pink Ginseng Drink Launch Party in Beverly Hills.

Blanket Jackson, who looked like he’d rather be at Auntie Reebok’s house dropping draw two’s on grandma, served face while his brother Prince Jackson stood strong in his black tuxedo.

Paris Jackson channeled ‘I’m not a girl, not yet a woman’ realness in her floor-length navy dress while Latoya Jackson out shined your fave in her all-black, two piece suit.

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