Waka Flocka and host comedian Kevin Hart at the 2011 BET Awards nominees announcement

As expected the nominees for the 2011 BET Awards read like the guest list for a bourgeois fish fry / baby shower.

Invitations to the community’s elite are sealed with a silent prayer for a sensible crowd, but in the meanwhile proper, um, provisions (read: armed security options) are made for the hood embarrassments who will undoubtedly fall through double-digit deep to collect to-go plates without offering hosts as much as a “Hello” or warm 2 liter Chek soda.

So, knowing this year after year, why do certain people find themselves up in arms over the shit if it doesn’t unfold the way they would have liked? That’s the million dollar question this evening. Too bad I don’t have any answers for it.

2011 BET Awards Nominees

Best Female R&B Artist
Marsha Ambrosius
Beyoncé
Keri Hilson
Jennifer Hudson
Rihanna

Best Male R&B Artist
Chris Brown
Cee-Lo Green
Bruno Mars
Trey Songz
Usher

Best Group
Diddy Dirty Money
Cali Swag District
N.E.R.D.
New Boyz
Travis Porter

Best Female Hip Hop Artist
Diamond
Cymphonique
Lola Monroe
Nicki Minaj

Best Male Hip Hop Artist
B.o.B
Drake
Lil Wayne
Rick Ross
Kanye West

Best Collaboration
B.o.B ft. Haley Williams of Paramore, “Airplanes”
Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes, “Look At Me Now”
Kanye West ft. Rihanna, “All of the Lights”
Chris Brown ft. Tyga & Kevin McCall, “Deuces”
Waka Flocka Flame ft. Roscoe Dash & Wale, “No Hands”
Rihanna ft. Drake, “What’s My Name”

Best New Artist
J. Cole
Bruno Mars
Miguel
Willow Smith
Wiz Khalifa

YoungStars Award
Shenell Edmonds
Keke Palmer
Diggy Simmons
Jaden Smith
Willow Smith

Video of the Year
“Far Away” Marsha Ambrosius
“Airplanes” B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams of Paramore
“Look At Me Now” Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes
“Pretty Girl Rock”, Keri Hilson
“Whip My Hair” Willow Smith
“Runaway” Kanye West ft. Pusha T

Best Gospel
Byron Cage
Deitrick Haddon
Mary Mary
Karen Clark Sheard
BeBe & CeCe Winans

Centric Award
Marsha Ambrosius
Eric Benét
Cee-Lo Green
R. Kelly
Kem

Best International Act (Africa)
2Face Idibia (Nigeria)
D’ Banj (Nigeria)
D-Black (Ghana)
Fally Ipupa (DR Congo)
Angelique Kidjo (Benin)
Teargas (South Africa)

Best International Act (UK)
VV Brown
Chipmunk
Laura Izibor
Skepta
Tinchy Stryder
Tinie Tempah

Best Actress
Halle Berry
Taraji P. Henson
Regina King
Zoë Saldana
Kerry Washington

Best Actor
Laz Alonso
Chris Brown
Don Cheadle
Idris Elba
Jamie Foxx

Best Movie
Death at a Funeral
For Colored Girls
Takers
The Book of Eli
Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married, Too?

Sportswoman of the Year
Tamika Catchings
Candice Dupree
Maya Moore
Serena Williams
Venus Williams

Sportsman of the Year
Carmelo Anthony
Kobe Bryant
LeBron James
Derrick Rose
Michael Vick

Your cousins flocked to different spots in Los Angeles last night in a mission to suck all of the remaining life and dignity out of the city last night while fulfilling their quota for photo ops.

*** [its still too soon] held their Crème of the Crop post award show dinner at the always paparazzi friendly Mr. Chow’s. If I captioned your fam’s name wrong its because I know them but I don’t know them know them. Choweezy himself came out on a segway during the evening to make sure that there was enough guns and butter for Ving Rhames and to keep an eye out on Shenehneh and Wanda’s table.

AND THE NOMINEES ARE

Please let the 2009 EBT Awards be chocked full of certified nigga shit. It’s become a tradition. Fuckery don’t fail me now!

I’m not trying to make a wish list but somebody, anybody, everybody giving the “We got a Black president, Oprah gave us free chicken last month, and I ain’t got to go to work on Monday. Ain’t God good?” proclamation before announcing the nominees to the Best Use of a Court Appointed Lawyer category would be like fire shut up in my bones.

I hate to break it to you but this isn’t the red carpet from the Dr. 90210 premiere party. Lil’ Kim and Coco are two brave souls. Heat softens plastic! I’m sure the people in attendance at the LuxuryFashion.com party had a bet going on about who would melt first.

Minus the  Golden Brooks proper male-up application and chocolate chip beauty mark  Kimberly looks fairly decent [if you look at her and then turn your head really quick] this time around. I can’t say the same about Coco’s concave chesticles though.

I am not going to insult my beautiful transgender Crunksters by saying that Golden and Tiffany are apart of their community. That would be just cruel.

Can I please a show of hands of those who believe that these momofukas actually give a damn about rescuing, restoring, and enabling the children caught in the crossfire of rebel atrocities in South Sudan and Northern Uganda?

Norwood Young, yes! These broads, hell no!

I never could.

]]> http://www.crunktastical.net/2008/11/10/one-in-the-same/feed/ 37 http://www.crunktastical.net/2008/10/17/tasia/ http://www.crunktastical.net/2008/10/17/tasia/#comments Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:22:30 +0000 Fresh http://www.crunktastical.net/?p=11857

Tasia Mae [1] kicked it at a party for The Real Housewives of Atlanta earlier this week. She miraculously managed to keep her shoes on this time but couldn’t resist the urge to dance on a table. I’m just glad that she didn’t have a man down, Team Chunk situation from yesterday. Hit up FreddyO for more flicks.

[1] How long is she going to wear those damn braces? I mean really, I’m glad she got them and everything but Solange will be in the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame before she gets those shits removed.

My mind keeps telling me no but my tangometer is telling me yes! In the clip posted Chance and Real follow in Celebreality tradition and hand out stupid ass names to the stupid ass contestants. Check out more zestalicious promo shots from the brothers after the jump.

Mrs. Carter dashed passed photographers at the 2008 Rock the Bells concert at the Jones Beach Theatre in Wantagh, New York on Sunday. Her husband hit the stage along with other hip-hop notables including Nas, Method Man, A Tribe Called Quest and Mos Def.

Now that The Carters are happily married I think they should go ahead and get the pregnancy ball on a roll. Procreate! Procreate! Papa Joe 2.0 is always down for another money maker. Nepotism isn’t going any damn where in the Knowles world.

Sisqo, Sisqo, Sisqo. Dude went from drinking Pepsi in outer space to going country with Bobby Brown and Marcia Brady. Only in America! I don’t think his tang game gets the proper recognition it deserves at times which is why I always try to acknowledge him when he comes around.

The man sung “Thinking bout you all the time / Morning noon and supper time / Tear you up in little pieces / Swallow you like reeses pieces / Come on girl you know I need you” and he can’t get any love at the EBT Awards but SWV’s swole asses can? Injustice!

Keith Sweat and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon posted up at Pure in Atlanta on Thursday night. One of the twins from Jagged Edge [don't ask which one] was also in the building looking rather hongray for some scooby snacks.

[Flicks via Necole Bitchie]

Young Jizzle celebrated his Vibe cover last night in New York City with Nas, Jermaine Dupri, Swizz Beats, and others. I suppose the party was a success. Jeezy likes to drink, Jeezy likes to smoke, Jeezy likes to mix Arm & Hammer with his coke [his poetic words, not mine]. Who doesn’t?

Riddle me this Batman: Why is Clifford always saluting and shit when its time for a photo op? I know him and Hampton J. Pig [ . . . ] have an infant son name Major but until his ass actually enlists I’m going to need for him to stop immediately.

. . . and yes I added a picture of Hef’s hoes to the mix because ‘The Girls Next Door’ is one of my guilty pleasures. I fucks with Holly and Bridget. You going to revoke my cyber hood pass over it?