Donning Janice Combs’ go-to liquor store run ratty blonde wig Rihanna performed a vocally uninspired set at the Capital FM Jingle Bell Ball in London on Saturday. And by “uninspired” I mean her voice sounded like a blend of faulty car brakes and a raccoon squealing. Embarking on a ten-month, 101-date tour was a tall order to fill. Time to occupy a seat and get some rest, dear.
When the media circus surrounding Beyonce’s baby bump comes gallivanting down my pop culture life’s city streets like a HBCU marching band I kiss my rosary beads, clutch my Mathew Knowles issued roots box and run like hell in the opposite direction.
I would much rather give my energy to submitting possible discussion topics to Funky Dineva than weigh in on the invite only party jumping off inside another woman’s uterus. The slew of self-anointed pregnancy experts (excluding the loyal citizens of Crunkunda) giving cap lock arguments sound more like Dr. Lipschitz than Dr. Huxtable. Besides, the only growing stomach I care about at this point in my life belongs to Rick Ross.
But Wendell’s dramatics made me give half a damn for half a second.
(via Sandra Rose)
I’m convinced that Dennis Rodman is the world’s first bionic man created completely out of foreskin and you should too. The ex-rebound champ was recognized by Sin City locals over the weekend with an Official Hall of Fame Induction Party at Club Nikki. Go ahead and shade him for his wardrobe selection if you please just know that this is how Tyler Perry wish he could show up at bible study on Wednesday night.
Gather around all ye college educated colored women in the 24-35 age demographic. A brand spankin’ new trailer for the upcoming season of VH1 hit reality show Basketball Wives just dropped and here’s what I walked away with:
1. Shaunie O’Neal couldn’t take that the heat so she packed up Marlon’s extra Capri Suns and Lunchables and got the fuck out of the kitchen. Viewers can expect her to take a back seat to the drama. Right next to Drunk Ass Tami’s Deebo slippers. Please and thanks.
2. Evelyn Lozada has daddy issues, both with her real father and fiance Chad Ochocinco. Hopefully its nothing a trip to a fertility specialist and teary conversation can’t solve.
3. Contrary to reports, Suzie Ketchum (and let the record show I enjoy typing ‘Ketchum’ more than you will ever know) and her grown woman lisp will be back for another round of ratchetness. Check please!
While drunkards at the wig crypt’s happy hour battle for sips of margaritas infused with The Blood of the Lamb his royal highness Lil’ Tunechi bestowed photoshop fuckery upon the masses in the form of his latest album cover late this afternoon. Feeling blessed yet?
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men won’t be able to put these pregnant women back together again if they don’t learn how to go SADDOWN somewhere. The writers of ‘What To Expect While You’re Expecting’ will have to include a brand new chapter on how to fall gracefully thanks to you people.
An 80-year-old woman with a criminal record stretching back to 1955 has been sentenced to three years in state prison for ransacking and stealing cash from a Southern California medical office. Doris Thompson thanked a judge Wednesday for not sending her to Los Angeles County jail, which she doesn’t like, and said she deserved a longer sentence. She also told the judge, “God bless you.”
State records show Thompson, who has used 27 aliases, has repeatedly been arrested during the past 55 years, mainly for petty theft and burglary. She’s gone to jail several times.
Thompson slipped into the medical office on Dec. 19 and stole money from drawers. She pleaded guilty to burglary and was ordered to pay about $1,400 in restitution. She will be eligible for parole in about 18 months.
SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]
Yeah, pretend like there is a picture to go along with this entry. I am posting on the run this afternoon, hoe shit missionary work is never accommodating. Speaking of which . . .
Sarah is really sweet but Sarah and Kim don’t get along. I get along with everyone. With both of them. Kim and I go back for years now. We were friends at one point. I was like “you wanted him, you got him now baby“. So she’s gotta go through all the bs I had to go through back in the day.
Sarah has been around as long as Kim, alot of people don’t know that. Puffy was cheating on me with both of them. This is over 15-16 years ago so we’ve all been around a long time. They are like my sister-wives. I try to keep everything good and we want Kim to accept Chance but she’s not ready yet . . . but I accepted Christian.
Last night’s launch party for A&E’s The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty was a melange of irrelevant souls and faces from the milk carton. Any time Eddie Winslow and Cochise show up for the same event its a fucking problem, son. Although the latter does play an instrumental role in Jackson Family pop culture history. He put a face to the physical and psychological abuse for many of us. The fuck has Eddie Winslow accomplish in the past decade outside of trying to wife Superhead and that one church movie?
I have decided not to label the gallery pictures because, well, this is one of those rare occasions where not knowing anybody at a party works in your favor.
Nothing says “we’re dating” like two people greeting each other with a smile and happy demeanor. Now you be sure to remember that when you attend your office’s Christmas party this year.
. . . Spies tell us that the singer is dating actor Tristan Wilds. The “90210″ star was an unexpected guest at a party RiRi held over the weekend at her L.A. home, where she was saying goodbye to pals before taking off for a set of London gigs.
“No one knew why Tristan was there initially, because it was not an industry party — it was very intimate,” says a fellow guest. “But everyone quickly realized they weren’t meeting for the first time, because they were openly affectionate for everyone to see.”
Our source adds that 21-year-old Rihanna and the 20-year-old actor, who has also starred in “The Wire” and Jay-Z’s “Roc Boys” music video, were introduced by a music producer who has worked with both of them — Wilds is currently working on an album of his own.
They hit it off the moment they laid eyes on each other, the insider says. “He’s a real gentleman,” says the source. “She likes him a lot, and it shows. From the moment he walked into her party, Rihanna lit up.”
| SPOTTED: DRAKE AND J.COLE
Team Yella Cake party hard in Indianapolis. | view photos |
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| AKOO 2012 FASHION PRESENTATION
Take a look inside the Harris Family's fashionable night out. | view photos |
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| 2.3.2012 Twitpic Round-Up
Alicia Keys, Tamar Braxton, Shaunie O'Neal and more. | view photos |
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| MEET THE 'MISTRESSES OF ATLANTA'
Drake's former flame Maliah Michele makes her next move. | view photos |
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TOYA WRIGHT IS THE ULTIMATE TWEETHEART Mrs. Wright loves filling her followers timelines with fashion and family. | View photos |
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| FLASHBACK FLICKS: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
Jump in the time machine for a look back at Phaedra, NeNe, Kim, Kandi and Cynthia in their younger days. | View photos |
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