Surprisingly, “I put water in that pot and start boiling” isn’t an opening line on yet another Gucci Mane song produced by Zaytoven detailing the splendors of cooking crack. I went from slightly embracing my African American roots to saying “I’m Black and I’m proud” with the conviction of Michael Evans in a matter of minutes. The movement finally has a soundtrack. God bless you, Internet.
Sean Foxx, 27, proposed to his girlfriend, Treila Woods, 24, after the pair had just been arrested in connection with an aggravated robbery at a Family Dollar Store.
Ain’t Black love grand? Those “girl, get you some in-house dick” articles in Essence are really effective for some women.
Jazz Ison Sinkfield is on a quest for the opportunity to be introduced to Tyler Perry’s fairy godmother Oprah as well as garner the attention of other celebrities with her 24-inch fingernails. The Atlanta grandmother has gone without bowling, typing on a computer, or lacing up her Cool Greys for going on two — count em’ two — decades. And let’s not get on the topic of doodie hole maintenance.
Her “divine gift” as she refers to it comes with a hefty price tag — $250 per month on her 5-hour long manicure sessions and mean mugs and shoulder shrugs from stranger ass hoes. To the latter Lady Jazz says, “I feel as if you can be entitled to your opinions but don’t be mean about it.”
Damn right! Watch:
Having a grill full of Trojan Magnum wrappers wasn’t enough for Celebrity Seaborn’s regular customer Pastor Dot (and you shaded Minister Ja’Von yesterday), so she upped the ante and coon factor several levels for “the haters” with a new ‘do just in time for her Minister Ball. The Lord’s favor ain’t far.
Here’s something I doubt you will witness on Oxygen’s Hair Battle Spectacular this season! Armed with his omnipresent bitch swatter (’cause they do tend to get out of line more during summer months), Mr. Hoe Tester’s appearance at Bigga Rankin’s all white party last week served as a curt reminder to why the Now Child Left Behind Act was signed into law. I’m willing to overlook all that, though.
My participation in drop it low contests may have came to an end around the time Lisa Wu Hartwell stole her first box of checks from Keith Sweat but if you feel the sudden urge to scream out “Cash Money Records taking over fah dah nine nine two thousand!” I promise I won’t judge you.
Hundreds of your blood relatives proved that once a ratchet bitch always a ratchet bitch by flocking to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina to show off record breaking amounts of stretch marks, protruding belly buttons, flea market tattoos, arms, legs, backs, and breasts while walking down streets paved with gold fronts during this year’s Black Bike Week.
If heaven had a height it would be this tall.
Now, aren’t you glad you checked “that” box on your 2010 Census? Thanks Wilmo!
Before you cry foul over Sandra Bullock’s best actress win and join Mookie in hurling an aluminum trash can through your neighborhood’s pizzeria take a moment to sit back and reflect on harder times.
Taking a cue from The View, the mothers of Hip-Hop and R&B “greats” T-Pain, Lil Wayne, and Go-Go have decided to come together as one to impart wisdom on some of these wayward hoes walking around here.
The middle-aged sex kittens are set to produce a pilot soon for television networks. Prepare to clutch your pearls as the threesome breaks down hood fights from World Star Hip Hop and give tips on how to drive the stank out of your kitchen after cooking chitlins.
While many Black Americans pop their collars when speaking about President Obama they will need a crash course on accepting the sex appeal oozing from Mama Pain. Her Celebrity Seaborn five star status hair, tatted up hand, velvet pants, and stunting-on-you-hoes posture will have all the kids screaming her name but will surely be frowned down upon by the uppity crowd.
And that’s just the beginning of her problems.
An insider exclusively revealed to us after bible study last week that her Creole status is still up in the air, a problem that could potentially be devastating to her public image. But as long as she is as tough as the skin on her son’s bottom lip she will be just fine. Put her on your prayer list.
Flick via Rap Up