With his pussy sitting skyscraper high, runway diva J. Alexander dropped one helluva stink bomb while promoting his new book Follow The Model on The Tyra Show on Tuesday. After reading the eulogy for Tyra’s lifeless swoop bang he revealed that a French lesbian played Russian roulette with her child’s DNA, requesting that he and his ex-boyfriend Alex donate their sperm.
Please forward all question and concerns to Looseneck.com because I can’t help you.
Rocking her No-Fuss Solange Cut, the original Fierce Kitty from Jamaica and Queen-Of-All-Things-Sick-And-Filthy Grace Jones was spotted sunbathing on a rooftop in Rio. Although she looks quite different than she usually does [au natural face and body armpits] her skin is smooth and she still can make the kids scream with her body in middle-age. Niatia Jessica Kirkland, take notes.
Mathew Knowles can’t seem to keep all that good dick to himself! The creole pussy slayer was slapped with a paternity suit last week by Alexsandra Wright in L.A. County Superior Court. Wright, who is currently 6 months pregnant, filed the case last week, alleges Knowles is the father. Sources say Wright is being represented by Neal Hersh, who is also repping Lamar Odom in the prenup negotiations with Khloe Kardashian.
Sham. Fucking. Wow.
Papa Joe 2.0 has always been uber swift to come to the defense of the Killer Kreole Kartel when rumors have surfaced online, so I am going to have to believe that he was out giving all access passes to his amusement park until he writes an angry email to TMZ.
Hoe shit is something that is huge part of the American culture. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill. R. Kelly and middle school girls. Those are situations synonymous with hoe shit. But I never expected David Letterman to join that aforementioned elite group of people who sexual exploits land them in hot water and public scrutiny.
From CNN.com
Letterman made the announcement during taping of the “Late Show.”
“This morning, I did something I’ve never done in my life,” Letterman told his audience, according to a release from Worldwide Pants Inc. “I had to go downtown and testify before a grand jury.”
The 62-year-old funnyman said he received a package three weeks ago from a person who claimed to have information about Letterman’s sexual dalliances, ultimately demanding $2 million to prevent public revelation.
Letterman said he went to the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, which conducted an investigation, and an arrest was made earlier Thursday.
In his grand jury testimony, Letterman said, he revealed the relations with members of his staff.
To tell the truth, I don’t blame the failed extortionist. We are in a recession and you have to “get it how you live.” Besides, Letterman should have been more discreet like Sheree’s nuts during a Derek Blanks photoshoot.
Take this all in slowly. That’s what he said.
Fresh: If Lil Boosie pops ectasy tablets in girls asses imagine what this pepaw does in the sheets!
Justin: Homeboy looks like the type to give vodka enemas. He’s old school, you know.
Fresh: Giving them bitches the blues for sure.
Justin: I bet his interests involve going to the flea market, buying elephant ears, and arranging strippers to visit his boys inside the nursing homes.
Fresh: Don’t forget poker. He probably uses Enzyte tablets as poker chips.
Justin: I thought it was suppositories, silly me.
Just look at what landed in my inbox via Crunkland’s own Dr. What! Call Kim Zoliack, I think we’ve found her new Dallas Austin.
Now Fresh, if you gone post those old hoes cuttin up you gotta post my round Bobby Rush. They’re the fkn reason why he sings. Dude has a song called “G-String (and a Toothbrush)” and a song called “Night Fishin.” I dare not mention he has a song called “I’m Tired of That Who Said Mess.” He exists because they exist without him, there would be no him. In the words of The Last Mr Biggs, chuuuch. He most definitely is assisting the devil.
People are all up in arms over Jay-Z walking with his hands in his pants while taking an evening stroll with The Precious Blood of the Lamb but it made me laugh and think that he might have been trying to rub one out on the sly before he fillet mignon that pussy later. Why do you think his hooves were down?
Lip biting animal! Lip biting animal!
The wind was blowing, the kids were singing, people was dancing and shit! The energy inside the Apollo Theater during a tribute to Michael Jackson earlier this week was so high that the usually reserved Al Sharpton jooked on stage like he was at a block party in Opa-Locka with Cousin Pam for the entire world to see. Who would’ve ever thunk ol Uncle Al’s sticking and rolling game would be proper? If someone has the video to this please post it in the comments!
SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.
I try not to say that more than once per day but at times like this I don’t know any better way to articulate myself. Be a good little Crunkster and type the first thing that comes to mind.
I know its not in good taste to talk greasy about old people but the hell with that! Look me square in the cyber eye and tell me that Etta James is not giving off all the same fever as Pinky XXX on the dvd box for Booty Talk One Hundred Thousand Trillion! The hand clutch, the come heither eye fuck, the parted lips, the other parted lips . . . Jesus be a fence.
| SPOTTED: DRAKE AND J.COLE
Team Yella Cake party hard in Indianapolis. | view photos |
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| AKOO 2012 FASHION PRESENTATION
Take a look inside the Harris Family's fashionable night out. | view photos |
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| 2.3.2012 Twitpic Round-Up
Alicia Keys, Tamar Braxton, Shaunie O'Neal and more. | view photos |
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| MEET THE 'MISTRESSES OF ATLANTA'
Drake's former flame Maliah Michele makes her next move. | view photos |
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TOYA WRIGHT IS THE ULTIMATE TWEETHEART Mrs. Wright loves filling her followers timelines with fashion and family. | View photos |
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| FLASHBACK FLICKS: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
Jump in the time machine for a look back at Phaedra, NeNe, Kim, Kandi and Cynthia in their younger days. | View photos |
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