Ladies, relevancy, leave it, home.

Fuck what you may have heard, Louboutins and lace fronts aren’t going to buy themselves. The current plight of the non-creole female entertainer is an unpleasant one. Instead of casting shade we should all extend our hearts, homes, and space heaters to those who have been left to perish outside of The Knowles Compound. Sympathize, people, sympathize.

Kizzy Rowland hit the stage at the PokerStars VIP Party in the Bahamas while Mya cashed in on her celebrity status [. . . ] by performing at The Pool in Harrah’s Resort.  Being able to pack Holiday Inn’s banquet room is serious bidness. Where yo’ boss at?

Crunkland, it’s Kid Fury again with more music that needs your stamp of approval. Please get into this track by an artist named Hot2Def — it’s called “Leggings And Heels”. This one is for all the ladies and cunty butch queens who hit up Forever 21 before the club and keep the receipts to get store credit the morning after. Make the dance floor your runway, bitch! However, if your legs look like cottage cheese in a Hefty bag when you put your leggings on, this song is not for you. No shade.

“How you walk, girl/So short, but ya heels so tall, girl/Perfect balance! You don’t ever fall, girl/Even wear ‘em in the season after fall, girl/Without a flaw, girl”

Okay, so the lyrical content isn’t exactly poetry, but you can shake ass, pop puss, and practice your Top Model strut to this shit. The Creole Gods are indeed pleased. What more do you need? Geisha, Khia, and I are currently working on a remix called, “Beaters and Grills”. Stay tuned.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

It’s not just WSHH videos, radio interviews, and bootleg book deals for Officer Ricky’s baby mama. Tia took a trip to the Gucci store [most likely on Fiddy's dime] before hitting Geisha’s booth at the flea market in preparation for her Straight Stuntin’ cover. Whatcha think?!

Beyonce was so going to wear the same thing to Cannes this year, oh well. [Flicks via This Is 50]

The pile of wasted web bandwidth that is Crunktastical.net [not the blogspot, that was in 2005 - - keep up!] launch one year ago today! What better way to celebrate than with Rhonetta Johnson? I’m still not drinking no bubbling water off bitches and I suggest you do the same!

Verdine White hopped up out of bed, turned his swag on, took a look in the mirror and said whaddup! [1]That’s right girls, I watermarked these babies because these right-clicking bitches are thirsty to get a drink of what V Dubb is offering. This is pay-per-view, you gotta pay for this. Now this is how I like to kick off a Monday. Get you a piece, whore!

[1] Only God can judge me for knowing the lyrics to a Souljah Boy song.

I know some of you want to continue to beat the dead horse that is the Oscars, but let’s get down to the meat and potatoes of today’s fuckery instead: Khia!

Her mega-watt smile and bubbling personality illuminate any dark room. Right before you flip the light switch back in the off position again, of course. I hate to break it to you but this is as good as its going to get. Derek Blanks already tried, baby.

On her hit song [available on iTunes, get you a piece] “K Wang” she raps “it’s me what the fuck hell wrong with ya’ll?” with a straight face. Where does one begin to start?

The human sweatband that is Tasia Mae did a special raw emotion filled performance of “Lady Marmalade” at UNCF’s Tribute to Patti LaBelle. I just knew that she was going to kick off her shoes and start rolling around on the stage like Aunt Patti but she made a liar out of me.

Oh, and expect for Creole Lady Marmalade to be the name of the first fragrance from the House of Dereon.

[Video spotted at Necole Bitchie]

Just look at all of this ass candy I’m providing you with! Remember that golden little YouTube clip of women auditioning to become Plies’ bust it baby? Well, the fruits of 12 lucky [if you want to call it that] ladies have to harvest.

[via Ozonemag.com]

Little Miss I Don’t Pay For Weed, I Get In Clubs For Free [her words, not mine] is ready for her close up. Survey says, epic fail! One of my good zestlemen friends from Miami told me many moons ago that Jacki-O [or Wacky Hoe if you are a Khia fan] regularly attends pumping parties in the area.

How dreadful! It’s a terrible thing when a woman will lay down her life for 14 additional seconds of relevancy. It’s like the hoodrat version of Seven Pounds.

[Cover via YBF]

I know a million other online gossip rags have already posted these pictures of Mr. Grinch arriving from LAX from her trip in Spain but it wouldn’t be right if I did not acknowledge her. As I’ve said many times before she was on a Creme of Nature perm box, people. That’s as big as they come in certain parts of the South.

KP hopped a plane back to Los Angeles after hearing about one of Diddy’s weekend back door parties that involved plenty of Ciroc and KY Jelly.

[*] I don’t actually think Kimbo is looking all that fugalicious, it just sounded good in me head.