Archive for the 'I'm Going To Hell For This' Category

What A Sad Miserable Life They Must Live

Posted by Fresh on February 5, 2009

Quit Playing Quit Playing

I thought Terrance J said he was getting Arab money on an episode of 106 & Park last week, what happened? Oh, never mind.

Listen, I love Young Jesus and his Daddy just as much Mother Wisdom but this [expletive] right here will never hug the rolls on my body! Although I could be persuaded to rock a Ex-Glowstick Carrier tee. Michael K said it the best:

If the Ex-Masturbator t-shirt isn’t for you, they have many others to choose from like Ex-Fornicator (NEVER!), Ex-Homosexual (ILLEGAL!), Ex-Diva (A Diva is another for a hustler) and Ex-Slave (?). Ex-Slave? Damn! Is there an Ex-Dom t-shirt to go with that? Those Christians are freakier than I thought. Beating each other in between bible study and shit. See a therapist after you finish lying to yourself.

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Crunk For Christ, How Dreadful, I Can Do All Things Through Yaki That Strengthens Me, I'm Going To Hell For This |

I’m Just Saying . . .

Posted by Fresh on December 18, 2008

image2 Im Just Saying . . .

This is not a photo shop trick. There aren’t any imaginateers at Pixar that can create this shit.

Just when you thought you were having a less than stellar day in the hair department, tah dah. I suggest that everybody print this shit out and stick it in the corner of their bathroom mirrors. We may not always like what we see in it but clap your hands and tell Jesus thank you that you didn’t get dealt these fucking cards.

For more sexy singles join The Bocks today! [And mail Kid Fury a roots box]

A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, All Types of Wrong, And I Don't Need A Label For This Shit, Epic Fail, I Hate My Day Job, I'm Going To Hell For This, I'm So Different |

Faces From The Milk Carton

Posted by Fresh on December 9, 2008

Houston

Last time we heard from R&B singer Houston he was rambling on and on about men in jail trying to steal booty and his “eye injury.” He was photographed throwing up the best side [are we really still doing this?] in Los Angeles over the weekend. When I showed this picture to one of my friends she said she could see pass [pun intended] his empty eye hole and give him the business.

Um, really?

My thing is this: If this momofuka gougedout  his own damn eye imagine what he could do to yours. Exactly.

[Flick via Necole Bitchie]

A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, Destroyed, Epic Fail, Give Em The Side Eye, Good Luck With That, I Guess, I Hate My Day Job, I'm Going To Hell For This |

No Rest For The Fuckery

Posted by Fresh on November 17, 2008

Rest In Peace Granny

My people, my people.

Your cousins have been snapping pictures of the dearly departed posted up in their final resting at funerals for as long as I can remember but this shit right here, no words. How can you get behind Granny and act like you are smiling for the picture man at First Friday?! Its sad enough she has gone on to that big trap house in the sky but this is just down right depressing.

Come And Get Your Cousins Please, I Hate My Day Job, I'm Going To Hell For This, It Feels Good Being Black Don't It? |

News Break

Posted by Fresh on October 17, 2008

A wise pimp once said barbecue or mildew . . . I can’t do either now.

2 News BreakThe family of a dead elderly woman cremated her remains on a makeshift barbecue and continued collecting her retirement checks amounting to more than $25,000, authorities in Northern California said.

Ramona Allmond’s daughter and grandson were arrested Sunday on suspicion of embezzlement, elder abuse and disposing of a body without a permit.

Allmond, 84, likely died of natural causes, though investigators were still trying to determine the exact cause of death, said Tehama County sheriff’s Capt. Paul Hosler.

Allmond’s daughter, Kathleen Allmond, 50, and Allmond’s grandson, Tony Ray, 30, told investigators their relative died in December. They left her body on her bedroom floor for a week before cremating the remains in their backyard fire pit, Hosler said.

Investigators said the two kept collecting Allmond’s monthly retirement checks, amounting to more than $25,000. Sheriff’s Detective Richard Knox said they may have been trying to honor Allmond’s desire to die at home and be cremated.

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And I Don't Need A Label For This Shit, Come And Get Your Cousins Please, I'm Going To Hell For This, News Break |

Kirk Franklin Takes T-Pain To Church

Posted by Fresh on August 28, 2008

tkirk1 Kirk Franklin Takes T Pain To Church

I’m watching the Democratic National Convention. Are you?

Moving along, Kirk Franklin had a nice little chat with Teddy Penherazzdown about turning Franklin’s 1993 gospel hit “Silver and Gold” into a song about getting his drank on.

“You’ll be hanging, swanging, drinking two types of Patrón,” he sings. “I done mixed up silver and gold/ I done mixed up silver and gold/ I’mma tryin’ to get drunk before this party/ Somebody’s gonna have to carry me home/ I done drank the silver and gold.”

While Pain’s following ate it up, non-secular-music kingpin Kirk Franklin had to put a call into the young singer. Franklin debuted the original “Silver and Gold” on his 1993 Kirk Franklin and the Family album. The gospel version goes: “Silver and gold/ Silver and gold/ I’d rather have Jesus than silver and gold/ No fame or fortune/ Nor riches untold/ I’d rather have Jesus than silver and gold.”

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I'm Going To Hell For This, It's Not Right But It's Okay |

Music To My Ears

Posted by Fresh on May 13, 2008

listen – “I’m Pressin’ Charges” Techno Remix

Somebody thought it would be a good idea to blend Soulja Girl’s MARTA meltdown with techno music. The results, much like Rick Ross’ tittay gravy, is delicious.

As my love muffin B. Scott previously said, I’m not laughing at the fact that she has mental health issues ["Don't tase me bro!" - Tank, February 2008] but rather applauding the creator’s ingenuity. If you disagree I encourage you to write an online petition and get Al Sharpton to march for justice and equality outside of my house.

Now excuse me as I break out my glow sticks and get my two-step on.

Finally some good news, I'm Going To Hell For This |