I was in the middle of a saucy fantasy sequence featuring my boo Kennis from I Want To Work For Diddy when Uncle Cecil and her crew of butch queens started gyrating their nuts at the customer service counter popped up on my television screen last night. She has been living a Metro PCS lifestyle for months now so I simply cannot approve this endorsement.
The next best thing to Ciara herself is Khia. Well?
While giving an inspirational testimony about the triumphs of fucking teenage girls at the Midwest Music Festival in Chicago on Wednesday night, the Pied Pisser of R&B shared with the audience that he was passed through grammar school for having a wicked jump shot and not his ability to read.
Stop hating and fly, ya’ll.
Video via Rap Radar
A number of hot R&B female singers have turned into the “young” auntie who still does the same old two step on First Fridays [see Mary J. Blige dancing like Brother Franklin every single chance she gets] but that’s alright just as long as they are happy and free of any needle marks on their body. Good day, Toni.
Ashanti may not ever be great by Crunkland’s standards but The Boys & Girls Club believes she is amazing. Amazing by default, aww poor little tink tink! Black Fran Drescher was all smiles at the unveiling of her ‘Be Amazing’ billboard in Times Square earlier today. Maybe she should go have some babies or something now.
Yikes! Your favorite minister’s daughters are back for another season of faked story lines, rehearsed scenes, and multi-camera shots. They are just like us, SO. FUCKING. REAL.
Anyway, season two of Justine Simmons Step-Daughters is set to premiere next Tuesday, August 11th, at 10:00 pm. This season follows Rev Run’s offspring as they move into a new home in the Hollywood Hills and on the way, meets a new batch of friends who help them learn and love in the City of Angels. Get excited kids as they are planning to open a new Pastry store, attempt to adopt rescue animals, and expand their business adventures.
Mo’nique [aka Hairy Legs] and Monica were both seen at the BET 2009 Summer TCA Press Tour promoting their upcoming shows that is set to premiere in the fall.
Monica’s show, entitled Monica [say it like you mean it kids!] is expected to hit airwaves on October 27th. The show is going to follow Monica as she, works on her fifth album, launches a new clothing line and tackles the hardest job of all – full-time mother of two young sons. My mom did it, and you don’t see her bragging about it. Such arrogance!
Mo’nique’s show, entitled The Mo’nique Show, is going to be in a talk-show format, featuring A-List [come on BET, A-List?] celebrities and musical performances. It is touted to be a centerpiece of BET late-night programming starting on October 5th.
I see BET is trying to become a jack-of-all-trades, but it seems like they are doing too much at one time. Frankie and Neffe, Wendell Williams, Hairy Legs, Monica, Wilbur and Toya, and all that crap we negroes love to gobble up. I hope that the channel feed doesn’t self-destruct from all that fuckery.
I had a good joke comparing Solange swinging in a hammock to a bag of Zatarain’s Crawfish, Shrimp & Crab Boil In A Bag on deck for yesterday but I decided to lay low until the head subsided since I didn’t want Mama Tina sending me another roots box. Solo escaped from the Knowles Compound last week to attend the Bonnaroo Music And Arts Festival. She looked right at home among all the “different” artists, I guess.
Did Eminem just see the ghost of tang past or is he still in “shock” after getting a face full of ass at the MTV Movie Awards? Eh, what’s a goon to a goblin.
If you follow me on Twitter you already know my heart but for the rest of you: Why the fuck is everybody getting a reality show? Couldn’t we just follow them on Twitter if we cared? Unless they can guarantee to have a family member as riveting as Frankie they are doing not only themselves a great disservice but the rest of us.
Rudy Huxtable is getting a show about shacking up?! Girl, your life on Twitter is for more interesting! You got people pretending they are you, putting Young Ashy aka Malik Yoba’s phone number and shit. And although Fantasia’s family probably does more than one Frankie floating around unless she can come with a new and exciting quick weave for every episode I could care less.
Megan Good is trying to bring her Hollywood stock up by hitting the recording booth. The “actress” [1] released a snippet of her new track “So Good” on Twitter earlier this week.
Yeah bad idea.
Listen, let’s be real here. The only double threat Ms. Good possess are parts of her body. You pick your poison. Chesticles, lips, those other lips. I’m not saying she wouldn’t be a smash on 106 & Park [hell who already isn't?] but you don’t have to worry about your Pancake 31 ruining the lining of your Aretha inauguration hat at her induction into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame.
Take a listen for to the track under the jump.
[1] Yes I’m still on that quotation mark shit. Have you peeped her acting credits lately? D.E.B.S., anyone? Her character on Cousin Skeeter was the defining role of her career.
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