Posted by Denise W. on October 13, 2009
Crunkfam, why must I cry? Why hast thou forsaken me? And lastly, why have I been the one chosen to deliver all this preposterous ass news to you? I mean, really. This here shit I’m about to report to you is so outlandish and audacious that I had to put it in memorandum format. Yes yes ya’ll, it’s that serious. That said, let’s get it.
Columbus, Ohio. Home of the Ohio State Buckeyes, Shad “Lil Mama” Moss, Bizzy Bone, and…ONE. OF. THE DUMBEST. MUTHA. FUCKAS. ALIVE named Stephfon Bennett. Who dis here bastard you ask? Please allow me to elaborate.
Stephfon Bennett (no kin to Tony) is a menace to society who robs folks for a living. He and his friends live by that MC Eiht motto, “I gots ta get mine, so Imma take yours.” And that’s exactly what they did one Sunday afternoon when they decided to rob the home of Diana Martinez.
Martinez was parking her car in front of her apartment complex and chatting with a friend when Bennett and his insane clown posse barged inside her home and ransacked the place. Once they were done filling their bags with gold, frankincense, and flat screen TV’s, they fled the apartment and ran towards their getaway car. On the way there, Bennett noticed Martinez sitting in her car. For whatever dumb ass reason, he approached the vehicle and pointed a gun at her head through the window. Martinez screamed, flung the car door open, and slammed it into Bennett, creating quite the man down, code ten sitchiation. And here, my friends, is where the shit went left.
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