Archive for the 'Help Me! Help Me Please!' Category

Young And Thuggin’

Tragic kids

A 7 year old goon in training from South Florida rode his Granny’s Dodge Durango until the wheels fell off that bitch - - literally. His mission? “To do hoodrat stuff.” [His words, not mine]

I hurt for my people.

The eight-minute trek left a swath of damage in his Palm Beach Gardens neighborhood Friday as the boy smashed mailboxes, hit parked cars and signposts.

He was unhurt.

Police say the boy kept driving until a front wheel fell off after the SUV hit a sign.

The boy’s mother says he grabbed the keys to the SUV, backed it out of her driveway, and took off.

Police spokeswoman Ellen Lovejoy says the boy is unlikely to be prosecuted.

She said police arrested him so he can get some help, noting the excursion was “unusual behavior for a 7-year-old.” [source]

This is the type of story CNN should be covering, ahem.

I blame gangsta rap, films by the Hughes Brothers, and Goober P+J. The world is so confusing for children growing up today.

If you don’t click on another link today just please make sure you check the news video out. Peep the gangstalicious sag in his camo cargo shorts, ya’ll. My mind can’t process this shit right now. Somebody needs to tap this kid for the Notorious B.I.G. movie, STAT!

 

[Thanks Razzi for the heads up]

Not This Mess Again

Nippy + Ray J

First Rudy Huxtable sells ass for Tyler Perry now this. Take me higher Lord! Every time I see this dynamic duo together I let out a deep sigh and look towards the heavens. I simply cannot deal with this today, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. They both look healthy and happy, so I guess I will give them a pass.

The Kang of R&B wrote about Nippy’s love affair with Ray J in his upcoming autobiography, I Pray This Check Doesn’t Bounce.

“I’m aware of the fact that Whitney had been seeing Ray J, a very young R&B artist who is most famous for being the little brother of Brandy, the multi-platinum singing artist and TV star.

“Their relationship doesn’t bother me. She’s open to see whoever she wants to see, just like I can see who I want to see.

“I know the age difference between her and the little guy is 20 years, but to each his own.

“The only concern I had was how our daughter felt about the age difference. As long as she’s cool with it, it’s fine by me.” [source]

Let Us Pray

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Whitney Houston surprised attendees at A-Town’s Hot 107.9’s fashion show on Thursday night when she showed up to the event with Ray J. According to Sohh Streetz Nippy arrived late and slid through the back entrance after spending about 20 minutes in her black SUV.

I just want to know what Bobbi Kristina thinks of all this.

You Sent It: Watch It Or She’ll Take Your Man!

Shawty Doo Wop

I got this at the end of the day. Thank GAWD for that b/c the nearest hospital is only 1 mile away from me. But I think I am just going to bypass them and head straight to the fu’nral home. My soul poured out some boon’s farm and chunked da deuce so hard. I was not expecting Warren Sapp to do this once he retired…I can’t……….

I think the sky has just parted and my Father is calling me home. Bye Y’all…

- - Kleo

This was so bad I had to get involved. Looking at all that ass in I-MAX really inspired me. Please peep my tribute video along with more flicks of Shawty Doo Wop after the jump.

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I’m Just Saying . . .

Mama Lorainne back in 06

I don’t know about you but I will take the version of Mama Lorainne that puts hot sauce on her pork rinds and smoked wu’s in the staircase with Ghostface over this one any day. She probably pays her bills on time and everything now. Child boo.

Check out a bonus flick of Go-Go and Plies on the set of “Bust It Baby Part 2″ after the jump.

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Teddy Penderassdown Got His Peen Caught In Some Cherries

Ms. Cherry + T-Pain

Now here is a conspiracy theory for your ass. Via Miss Info:

Well, well, well, what do ya know? And here I thought, Khia was gonna have the best backstory on the “Miss Rap Supreme” show…..think again!

Turns out, there’s another contestant who’s gotten a lot closer to rap stardom than that “My Neck My Back” chick will ever get, lol.

Atlanta-based contestant Miss Cherry [In case you missed it. - - Fresh] and human parappa rappa T-Pain have an adorable baby boy together. And while, its unclear if the couple is together or not, just the thought that this woman got drinks, to drink, and druk ‘em (got knocked up) with T-Pain….is a feat of superhuman endurance.

I haven’t seen flicks taken from a disposable cameras in a long time.

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A List of Things I Can’t Do Today

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#1 Watch Wyclef Jean perform cunnilingus on his guitar.

#2 Sit back and allow Papa Joe get his swerve on in Las Vegas while Mama Katie soaks her girdle in the sink back at home.

#3 Pay this child any attention. Was she sucking on Robert’s golden peen and got splashed in the face with his man chowder before she took that picture?

#4 Call to RSVP Nelson Mandela’s birthday party.

#5 Add MOP’s porn to my Netflix que.

YouTube Clip of the Day

Finally some real momofukin’ talent! Eli from the class of 2005 makes me want to move to New York City and start up my own record label. Reh Dog you may want to check your rear-view mirror homie. You got some strong competition in the window licker emcee category. I really mean it.

[Thanks Lamar]

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