Archive for the 'God Don't Like Ugly' Category

In Other News: Woman Under Investigation For Using C-Murder’s Name In Church Scam

Posted by Fresh on November 18, 2011

c murder In Other News: Woman Under Investigation For Using C Murders Name In Church Scam

Reads like the plot to Master P’s next screen gem but this is real life:

A Memphis woman named Alisa R. Harris is under investigation for falsely representing rapper Master P in her illegal “church” solicitation ring. Harris used a mail-order minister ordainment to get church status even though she didn’t have a church, then lured in donations for the fake church as well as the “Corey Miller Foundation.” Corey Miller is Master P’s brother, rapper C-Murder. C-Murder’s never even met the woman, and he’s in prison anyway.

Investigators soon found out her church and foundation were both illegal as neither was a registered solicitor with the Tennessee Department of State.

Here’s what Master P had to say about it all:

“This is crazy. She needs to be stopped. Just to have somebody use your name and don’t even know you, it’s not even fair.” (source)

God Don't Like Ugly |

News Break: Bishop Eddie Longstroke Reaches Settlement In Sex Abuse Case

Posted by CRUNK STAFF on May 26, 2011

74985446 News Break: Bishop Eddie Longstroke Reaches Settlement In Sex Abuse Case

Let Bruce Bruce hit it?

No point in continuing to wonder if Bishop Eddie Long was going to draw hair inspiration from a box of S-Curl or the Steve Harvey wig collection for his court dates any longer.

Taking a cue from a creepy Catholic priest near you, the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church pastor has reached a settlement with the four men who accused him of using the power of the pulpit to get a poke.

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God Don't Like Ugly |

Raz B: Tyler Perry’s Interview With Oprah Inspires Raz B

Posted by Fresh on October 21, 2010

Image75 Raz B: Tyler Perrys Interview With Oprah Inspires Raz B

After watching Tyler Perry’s heart wrenching interview with Oprah yesterday, Raz B (sans DIY shades) felt compelled to record a video addressing the inner turmoil he is dealing with before briefly touching on being molested at age 14 by a female business associate of Chris Stokes. Heavy, heavy.

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God Don't Like Ugly |

Fuck Effort: Rihanna’s Moonwalk?

Posted by Fresh on May 10, 2010

Plenty of us have hit the same move in an attempt to unstick wet napkins from the bottom of our shoes while cutting a rug in the middle of a sweaty black club dance floor.

But this shit?

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama

Fuck Effort, Girl Bye!, God Don't Like Ugly |

Come And Get Your Cousins Please: Droppin’ It Low In The Graveyard

Posted by Fresh on October 27, 2009

A group of teenage girls attempted to conjure up the spirits of lost souls by pulsating their pussies low and slow twerking on top of Grandma Pearl and the rest of the crew’s final resting place. I’ve got nothing.

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama

And I Don't Need A Label For This Shit, God Don't Like Ugly, Niggatry At Its Finest |

Faces From The Milk Carton: Mase

Posted by Fresh on October 6, 2009

*The Black Awareness Rally had more attendees than Flex’s Car Show. That’s one sad Lil’ Mama face by itself.

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama

Enjoy A Blockbuster Night Next Time Instead, Faces From The Milk Carton, God Don't Like Ugly, You Need More People...At This Event |

Rihanna Booted From Catholic Church For Wearing Hoe Shit

Posted by J. Cooper on October 1, 2009

rihanna church Rihanna Booted From Catholic Church For Wearing Hoe Shit

While her ex-beaver attempted  [and failed] to transform y’all on Twitter, the world’s most famous Cynthia Doll was being controversial in Venice

After a taking a trip on a gondola , the skimpily clad star tried to enter Saint Mark’s Basilica in the city’s famous Piazza San Marco.

But strict rules mean shoulders and legs must be covered.

To beat the ban, she rustled up a makeshift ensemble which looked suspiciously like she had just grabbed two red tablecloths from a nearby restaurant.

You have to be one bold person to go into a church dressed in a miniskirt with your bra showing. Acting like that was a mission house in which hookers go into for counseling and hot meals.

Amen!, Crunk For Christ, God Don't Like Ugly, How Dreadful |

Crunkland Submitted: Mom Tries To Sell Son For Gas Money

Posted by Fresh on September 28, 2009

And all this time I felt bad for considering hustling my nephew for petro paper.

According to Melbourne police a 37-year-old woman was arrested on a child-neglect charge Friday afternoon after a tow truck driver told police the mother offered to sell her child in exchange for gas money.

Pappalardo faces a charge of child neglect in connection with the report. Police are continuing their investigation.

Sgt. Michael Casey of Melbourne police said officers learned of a 9-1-1 call about 3 p.m. from a tow truck driver who said a woman had tried to sell him her 6-year-old boy in exchange for gas money at a gas station near U.S. 1 and Lake Washington Road.

The driver refused, Melbourne police said, and then followed the mother who was in a white sedan with her child and another woman as he called police.

“He rolled up his window and followed her. They drove all across north Melbourne,” Casey said.

The white sedan was pulled over in Suntree by police. Pappalardo was questioned and arrested. Her 6-year-old boy sat on the trunk of the car and cried as his mother was led away.

Roy Baijnath, the tow-truck driver who lives in Palm Bay, told the Florida Today he was concerned about the child’s safety. [source]

A check is a check, Fuck The Recession, God Don't Like Ugly |

Required Reading: A Thirsty Ass Will Always Finish Last

Posted by Denise W. on September 16, 2009

Bbq Wings.recipePhoto Required Reading: A Thirsty Ass Will Always Finish Last

Cruuunklaaand! What’s gwans? It’s ya girl Denise Wheatley, back in the building to bring you more of the criminal-minded type fuckery that all our hearts so desire. Let’s get it!

Detroit, Michigan. Home of Motown Records, Aaliyah (RIP), Madonna, Aretha Franklin and those infamous tittays, and one parched ass 27-year old idiot who chose to remain anonymous due to the embarrassing, guttahbutt shit I’m about to tell you. So for clarity’s sake, let’s just call her Thirstyanna Desperato. Who dis here woman you ask? Please allow me to elaborate.

Thirstyanna Desperato is a big dummy who met a 23-year old freak show by the name of Terrance Dejuan McCoy (no kin to LisaRaye) one fateful evening at Greektown Casino, where he was apparently looking to luck up on some riches and some ass (Fail Number One). Upon their meeting, McCoy introduced himself only as Chris, and while Desperato got both his cell phone number and his photo which he’d texted to her, she never got his full or real name (Fail Number Two).

The pair chatted for about a week before making arrangements for a first date. Desperato agreed to drive to McCoy’s apartment, pick his no-car-havin ass up, and chauffer him to Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant (Fail Number Three). During dinner, McCoy made sure he got good and full. Afterwards, he told Desperato that he’d left his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. She handed them right on over (Fail Number Four). And here, my friends, is where the shit went left.

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God Don't Like Ugly |

Why Won’t You Let Caster Be Great?! Act III

Posted by Fresh on September 11, 2009

caster Why Wont You Let Caster Be Great?! Act III Athlete Caster Semenya has pulled out of her return to competitive sport amid growing fears over the psychological impact of rumours about her sex.

The 18-year-old withdrew from a cross country race in South Africa tomorrow after it was widely reported that a leaked sex test reveals she is a hermaphrodite. Her coach, Michael Seme, said she will not run because she is “not feeling well”.

South Africa condemned the international media reports as an invasion of the teenager’s privacy and threatened a “third world war” if the women’s 800m champion is disqualified from athletics.

The process by which Semenya’s most intimate physical details have become a public talking point intensified when Australia’s Sydney Daily Telegraph said that she has no womb or ovaries, but rather has internal male testes, which are producing extraordinary amounts of testosterone.

The strain of the ordeal began to show on Semenya’s family. When her mother, Dorcas, was contacted by one newspaper for a response, she wept and demanded: “What do you want me to do?” Semenya’s father, Jacob, said people who believe his daughter is not a woman “are sick. They are crazy. Are they God?”

There was condemnation of both the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) and the media for failing to respect Semenya’s human rights. [source]

Dreadful, simply dreadful.

God Don't Like Ugly, If Only I Were Creole, It's Cold In These Parking Lots |

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