. . . You know what? Never mind. Damn you Durty Mo.

According to C+D reader S. West the former Mrs. Swizz Beats, Mashonda, skipped out on the bill at New York City’s La Esquina on Friday night like it was the Waffle House!

[Insert your own "Money In The Bank" joke right here]

I’m a hairstylist in Queens and my client’s sister just came in with some great juice!

She was at La Esquina this past Friday with a couple of friends to celebrate the birthday of celebrity hairstylist Yusef Williams. Rihanna’s hairstylist Ursula Stephens, Essence magazine’s Fashion Dept and other big wig music industry executives were there.

In walks Jay and Beyonce. Yusef had the back room on lock so the over zealous waiters started to try and rush the guests by offering them free meals! These people were too fab to care about some free meal and rushing for B & J. Needless to say Jayonce bounced.

But the tackiest part of the night was how R&B “songstress” Mashonda (a client of Yusef’s) decided to pull an old school dip out! When the bill came around they were short about $200 and as everyone chipped in they noticed that Mashonda, her sister and their two friends made a subtle exit. Ewe!!

She boasts so much about how, despite her failing marriage with Swizz Beak, (yes, Beak, you’ve seen that brother’s nose), she’s doing her, got an album coming out, etc. and you skip out on a bill?!

The price of gas per gallon is $3.66 in my neck of the woods, so thank Young Jeezus I haven’t had to resort doing anything like this. I know desperate times call for desperate measures but damn. Thanks Erin!

I mean, at least they visit the library regularly. I can’t say that about the rest of your cousins.

The search is on for a man and woman accused of taking advantage of the city’s public library to the tune of $12,236.31.

Jacksonville police said 32-year-old Felicia Tillery and 35-year-old Eddie Allen came up with a scheme to rip off the library for thousands of dollars by using dozens of library cards.

Police said Tillery and Allen used the names of the 37 children they claimed they had to get 37 library cards. According to investigators, the pair then checked out books, DVDs and comic books and never returned the materials.

“It’s highly unlikely that they have 37 children that they are responsible for — very highly unlikely. It’s just a very deceitful scheme they they’ve used to get this property out so they can sell it,” said Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office. [source]

Don’t blame Andre 3000 for being a tight wad with his wallet, blame this damn recession!

Atlanta waiter Matt Moore claims that he went out of his way to hook Andre up with some vegan dishes after the rapper visited the restaurant he works in — even though it is non-vegan. Apparently, that effort wasn’t enough and Andre decided to complain anyways — getting his bill reduced in the process. At the end of the meal, the low-baller left a $0 tip and walked away. Classy.

What’s a guy to do? eBay! Moore was understandably pissed and threw his story up on the auction site, along with a description of the injustice and the offending receipt. “The chef had tried to please them with original dishes and took time out of the busy dinner to customize a meal for them,” he wrote. “Despite the spot-on service and super-catered food, they felt the need to leave me no money. I had nothing to do with the food, yet he stiffed me.” [source via SR]

I was going to play my role as a stan and defend Three Stacks to the bitter end but this is way past dirty. I’ve been in the food service industry before so I know what if feels like to be short changed when its tip time. I will keep my horror stories of revenge to myself but trust and believe that some servers are not as kind as others. You’ll be surprised at how many actually remember you from your previous visit.

Everybody that signed [to Poe Boy] had gotten their advance money, but when it came time for me to get my advance, I had to f*ck for my advance. It was ten stacks and I had to f*ck for it. So naturally it wasn’t something that I’m proud of doing. And I don’t advise any female to get into no business – be it music or whatever – and get exploited like that. [E Class] told me I had to have sex with him to get the ten stacks. That’s how me and him got into a relationship. But that was a situation I had to face, and I made the wrong turn. But I’m from the hood and if somebody offers you ten thousand dollars at one time to get out of the hood, and lets you go for your dream of doing music, you’re gonna run to that.”

- - Jacki-O reveals to Hip Hop Weekly that she had to engage in some hoe shit for her advance money

Survey says! Bitch should have called Gary Coleman to hook her up with a loan from CashCall.com

If you are anything like me and love watching cheesy 70’s Blaxploitation films on IFC, Black Dynamite should be right up your alley.

The new millennium nod to cult film genre stars Michael Jai White as the lead character Black Dynamite. Arsenio Hall [Tasty Freeze] and Tommy Davidson [Cream Corn] also join the mix. Before you pass judgment on these brothers just remember that a check is and will always be a check.

[Clip via Wooohah]

Now before you go bad mouthing Luenell about having prickly armpits understand this, she is going green in an effort to conserve energy. How? If she applied a depilatory or shaved under her arms [1] that would require her to stand under the vanity lighting in her bathroom, wasting precious electricity. By going natural she is not only saving energy but our planet! And you thought you were doing a good deed to Mother Earth by using those new shopping bags at Wal-Mart.

[1] Not to mention buying things outside of gas and food is a luxury in today’s world. Damn this recession!