Archive for the 'Faces From The Milk Carton' Category

Faces From The Milk Carton

Ja Rule Michael DeLorenzo

You know you’re at the bottom of the barrell when All The Fuckery doesn’t even bother putting your little rapper pseudonym below the picture.

I blame Irv Gotti for telling Ja Rule “Body” would be his big comeback single on that only episode of Gotti’s Way I bothered to watch. Once entertainers realize that Rocsi and Terrence J’s opinion can only account for so much they will be better off. We all know that they think every album is a  fucking classic.

And don’t get me started on Detective Torres over here.

You Sent It: Faces From The Bodega Candy Wall

Bless His Heart

Ok I saw Tales From The Hood and wondered what happened to this dude. He is currently doing 11 years for manslaughter [For killing what? His career? - - Fresh] but that is no excuse for the flowers and the prison pics being posted on his myspace page that he seems to update from d-block.

P.S. This nigga is only 32 years old looking like marmaduke.

www.myspace.com/deaundrebonds

- - Its Me

Faces From The Milk Carton

Bambi Jones + Sally Struthers Taraji Henson + Sally Struthers

All of the members of Team Chunk hold a special place in my heart but Sally Struthers is on some other shit. Walking around looking like the YT version of Sherri Sheppard is not the move. And before you ask homie is not in the The Family That Preys nor has a production credit for the film [at least according to IMBD. Her publicist probably told her to take a ‘L’ and show up to the premiere  looking like a token crazy cat lady any way.

Somebody give her an application to Pet Smart, a few pills, and send her on her merry little way. This is borderline disturbing.

I’m Just Here For The Free Meds

Mike Tyson + Christian Audigier Mike Tyson + Christian Audigier

Mike Tyson strutted awkwardly down the runway with designer Christian Audigier at his ‘When I Move You Move’ trade show on Wednesday in Las Vegas.

I think Mike is giving her YT sponsor a side-eye in the first picture but that may just be a little wonk action. Either way I blame Robin Givens for putting a root on that boy with her pussy. I see a VH1 reality show in his future.

Faces From The Milk Carton

Tommy Davidson Tommy Davidson

I refuse to speak about this. Besides, Xilla already covered everything.

Tommy Davidson likes to party with rock stars, as seen above at Slash’s birthday bash surrounded by hot white women ducking drops of sweat flying off Tommy’s bird chest. I bet there was a lot of sexual intellectualism going on in there, maybe that’s why Tommy Davidson didn’t bother to put on underwear. Free Ball or bust I guess. [pause] How much does this picture bother you?

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]:

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A Special Faces From The Milk Carton Report

D’Angelo’s former manager revealed in the August 2008 issue of Spin magazine that the video for “Untitled” was to blame for the downward spiral of both his career and personal life.

I blamed Angie Stone for giving him the “until you do right by me everything you think about is going to fail” curse but I will leave the rest of that conversation for another day.

“We couldn’t get through one song before women would start to scream for him to take off something” says Hargrove. “It wasn’t about the music. All they wanted was for him to take off his clothes.”

The cat calls had an undeniable effect on D’Angelo. “He’d get angry and started breaking sh*t,” Thompson remembers. “The audience thinking, “f*ck your art, I wanna see your ass!” made him angry”.

For D’Angelo, who, as Trenier puts it, “isn’t a sexy dude” but a “real musician who wears glasses and plays video games,” the objectification appeared to do lasting damage.

“I didn’t realize how vulnerable he was or how deep his issues ran.” Says Leeds. “He’s cursed now with fretting over how much of his fan base is because of how he looked as opposed to his music. It took away his confidence, because he’s not convinced why any given fan is supporting him.

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Faces From The Milk Carton [Take Two]

I Vote No On All Ya’ll Queen Pen Queen Pen + Guest

Want to hear something entertaining? Queen Pen has the same publicist as Fredro “I’m Still living good off that Moesha paper, nigga!” Starr. Time to get some new representation lady. Just joking! [ . . . not really]

Alright, let me be a good Christian woman and say something nice about QP. Call her hip-hop’s red Solo cup because a party still ain’t a party without her. Now, can anybody confirm if Nonchalant still looks like the Sam’s Choice version of Sommore or not?

Faces From The Milk Carton

TC Carson TC Carson + Guest TC Carson

I’m not even going to speculate what type of activities TC Carson was partaking in at Iota Phi Theta’s White Linen VIP Party. It is the Lord’s day! I’m just going to say this one Jay-Z line and be done with it.

Linen shorts so my balls don’t get hot.

Since stans and love haters almost always emerge from the wig crypt on the weekend I’ve got to stick around and read how they defend Kyle Barker’s taco meat. I thought that sugar honey iced tea was gross as a child and I am still equally disgusted as an adult. I’m convinced that every morning he jumps up and sprays cologne on each curl while listening to “My Dougie.” Not kosher at all man!