Archive for the 'Don't Be Mad UPS Is Hiring' Category

Money Matters: Terrell Owens Ain’t Got It So Don’t Ask

Posted by Fresh on November 8, 2011

werk Money Matters: Terrell Owens Aint Got It So Dont Ask

Life was pretty damn good for Terrell Owens until Bank of America sent him a courtesy balance notification.

Crying the tears of a slave while trying his best to explain the state of his finances to anyone who would listen, viewers of ‘The T.O. Show’ couldn’t help but feel sorry for the current NFL free agent until they realized a major part of his money woes could have been solved by properly preparing for skeet off.

Terrell Owens’ financial situation is so dire, he filed papers in three separate child support cases to have his payments lowered because he makes ZERO DOLLARS this according to court docs obtained by TMZ.

As TMZ first reported, a bench warrant was issued for T.O.’s arrest after he missed a court date with one baby mama … to whom he’s trying to lower child support payments.

Turns out T.O. has three OTHER baby mamas and over the past few months he’s filed to have his payments reduced with two of them (and, according to his rep, he plans to file for a modification of support for the third).

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Kelis: “Katy Perry Is Crap”

Posted by Fresh on September 8, 2011

kelis katy Kelis: Katy Perry Is Crap

Kelis has no intentions of inviting Katy Perry to her next Tupperware party. The sole beneficiary of profits made from all bedazzled nigger jackets manufactured in 2008 reportedly vented “Katy Perry is crap. It’s just poor pop. Her name might be on her stuff but that doesn’t mean it’s any good,” according to Britain’s Daily Star newspaper.

Perry’s Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) topped Billboard Hot 100 mainstream chart in August, giving her a fifth number one from the same album, matching Michael Jackson’s previous record who also manage the high five in 1987 and 1988 with hits from his album Bad. Her record-breaking streak continued earlier this month when she became the first artist in Billboard’s Adult Pop Songs chart history to achieve four number ones from the same album.

So for Ms. Rogers the question remains:

why Kelis: Katy Perry Is Crap

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No Country For Meeka Claxton

Posted by Fresh on August 17, 2011

meeka shaunie No Country For Meeka Claxton

Throughout the duration of her time on ‘Basketball Wives’ Meeka Claxton has been about as popular as the kid in home room who manages to smell like garlic chicken broth before 8am with the rest of the cast.

The final “fucking factor” can easily be pegged as the zero interaction she is likely to have with Drunk Ass Tami and her fat bitch walk if show producers were to keep her around. And that type of boring story line just doesn’t justify trying to include her into the premium remy hair budget for the season.

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Farrah Franklin Has Never Seen An Episode of Storage Wars

Posted by Fresh on August 16, 2011

farrah1 Farrah Franklin Has Never Seen An Episode of Storage Wars

Here’s a joke with no punchline for you to snicker at: After months of non-payment the contents of a storage unit once rented by former Destiny’s Child member Farrah Franklin were sorted through and later placed on eBay.

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Quick Quotes: Arsenio Wants In!

Posted by Fresh on August 2, 2011

arsenio Quick Quotes: Arsenio Wants In!

You would be better off not judging my recent fascination with all things Arsenio Hall, thanks.

Arsenio Hall seems to figure that a 17-year rest is long enough. Having quit his iconic late-night talk show in 1994, Hall was asked this afternoon during a PBS panel at TCA about an Ed Sullivan Comedy Special premiering Aug. 6 whether he’d consider making a comeback.

“I’d have to change my name to Nick Cannon and live with Mariah (Carey),” he joked. “But I think it’s a perfect time for that personally. Give me a microphone. My son’s 11 and he can drive himself to school. I’m ready to host!”

When a critic pressed if he was serious, Hall acknowledged, “It’s pretty crowded out there. I’m not sure if it’s too crowded
for a 55-year-old guy to re-emerge, but if they give me a little daylight I’m gonna slide into it.” (source)

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Buzz Notes: The Mo’Nique Show Dunzo?

Posted by Fresh on July 27, 2011

mo show Buzz Notes: The MoNique Show Dunzo?

While I could never get into Mo-Apostrophe-Nique yelling scriptures at me like a street preacher my thoughts are with all the faithful fans of The Mo’Nique Show (including Mama Fresh) this evening. Look on the bright side, the absence of The Mo’Nique Show nows leaves space and opportunity for The Magic Hour to return back to dominance. That’s right Debra Lee, get the cotton from under your fingernails and call Cookie to set some shit up!

Rodney Ho of Access Atlanta’s Radio & TV Talk writes:

At about 1:30 p.m., I called Rodney Perry, who was Mo’Nique’s sidekick on the show. He said he was running into a meeting and didn’t answer my question. While I was at lunch over at the mall court, at 1:40 p.m. EST, he texted me: “I was told indefinite hiatus.”

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How Dreadful: R. Kelly Owes A Staggering $837,000 in Federal Taxes

Posted by Fresh on July 27, 2011

kellz1 How Dreadful: R. Kelly Owes A Staggering $837,000 in Federal Taxes

Ron Isley definitely had something to do with this shit leaking out to the public. God forgives, Mr. Biggs doesn’t!

R. Kelly can’t catch a break. The singer, who underwent emergency throat surgery to drain an abscess in his tonsil last week, made headlines when it was recently revealed that his $2.9 million Chicago estate was in foreclosure because he was delinquent with payments. Now, The Detroit News reports that he owes nearly a million in unpaid taxes. The R&B star apparently needs some accounting assistance, as he owes a debt of exactly $837,000 to Uncle Sam.

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Can R.Kelly Crash At Your Place Until He Gets Back On His Feet?

Posted by Fresh on July 13, 2011

rkelly1 Can R.Kelly Crash At Your Place Until He Gets Back On His Feet?

Girl Scouts honorary den leader R. Kelly faces a $2.9-million foreclosure lawsuit on his 11,140-square-foot Olympia Fields mansion after failing to pay more than a year of mortgage payments. That’s a lot of Happy Meals.

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Groupie Fail: Cavs’ Kyrie Irving Files Restraining Order On Twitter Sideline Hoe ‘Miss Hawaii’

Posted by Fresh on July 6, 2011

kyrie Groupie Fail: Cavs Kyrie Irving Files Restraining Order On Twitter Sideline Hoe Miss Hawaii

Social networking hook-ups can be tricky. After months of corresponding through Skype sessions with a self-anointed Twitter personality / occasional model (who just happens to only have web cam pictures available — yeah), former Duke University star point guard and top draft pick of the Cleveland Cavaliers Kyrie Irving finally met up with Jessica Jackson (better known as @RealMissHawaii) in person outside of a bar in North Carolina.

That’s when shit took a left.

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If You Want To Piss Jill Scott Off Don’t Eat The Meal She Has Prepared For You

Posted by Fresh on June 21, 2011

nope1 If You Want To Piss Jill Scott Off Dont Eat The Meal She Has Prepared For You

In my mind Jill Scott would make for the perfect kindergarten teacher. Her voice is soft, her smile is warm and she looks like she smells like fresh baked cookies most of the time. The soulful jawn’s ex-husband Lyzel Williams (whom she divorced back in 2001) wasn’t trying to stick his hand in her cookie jar during their marriage, though. And that pissed Jilly From Philly the hell off:

“One of the reasons my ex-husband and I broke up is that he stopped eating my food. He was pissed (off) for other reasons, but the best way to show me was by leaving what I’d made for him uneaten for days on the kitchen counter. It was a smack in the face”.

Hamburger Helper prepared with shredded cheddar cheese layered on top comes with a price in my household. After the cut check out what Crunksters our Facebook profile had to say about Lyzel saying no to Jill’s toast, two scrambled eggs and grits.

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