Archive for the 'Dive Yo Big Ass Down!' Category

Jacking For Posts: Weight Loss Ads — Sucking The Life Out Of Our Divas

Posted by Fresh on January 3, 2012

Remember when singers just sang? Maybe they wrote a few songs too, or sold a perfume at the CVS, and perhaps acted in a few movies but nothing really overshadowed their singing and hopping around on stage? Those days are over, thanks to the need to have 5,6,7,8, 50-11 side hustles. It’s not enough to put out a good product. Nope, because folks just aren’t buying it anymore. We’re illegally downloading it, sharing it and watching the concert highlights on YouTube, all for free-99. It’s really hard out here for a diva, it would seem. Enter: the weight loss commercial. If you haven’t had a smash hit in years, you can lose some el-bees and #BAM, career’s back at 100 (or a good 85). Jennifer Hudson, Mariah Carey and, now, Janet Jackson have all discovered the formula.

CONTINUE READING ON WITCHES’ BREW

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Step Aside Omarosa, King James (Not LeBron) Is Ready For Love!

Posted by Fresh on August 6, 2010

Remember the unapologetic fitness instructor who we introduced you to last year that made overweight lovers feel the wrath of his plastic baseball bat when he felt they weren’t pushing themselves hard enough? He’s back and still getting his Sammy Sosa on with a brand new reality show pitch that he describes as Bad Girls Club, Flavor of Love, The Biggest Loser, and Hot Mess Fitness all rolled up into one. Sign me up!

Thanks Dana!

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Sexual Napalm: CeddyBu The Sumo Rapper (Not Safe For Life)

Posted by Fresh on June 24, 2010

If you’re thinking about terminating your contract at Metabolic Research Center now has come the time to reconsider! With enough tittay gravy to make the BP oil spill look a contained toilet overflow situation, Latarian Milton’s older cousin twice removed from the garden bar at Ruby Tuesday is living his best life. Are you?

Thanks Erin!

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Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Posted by Fresh on April 19, 2010

Feeling stressed out? Take a moment out your hectic day to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Dive Yo Big Ass Down!, Team Chunk Stand The Fuck Up, YAAAAAASSSSS!!! |

You Sent It: Fat Tuesdays Edition

Posted by Fresh on March 9, 2010

Image32 You Sent It: Fat Tuesdays Edition

Hey Fresh!

Hey I found this guy while randomly Facebooking one day & I thought of you, LOL. Team Chunk has gone metro! Enjoy!

- – Shana

Continue Reading »

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Friday Fuckery: Cheesy Fun!

Posted by Fresh on March 5, 2010

tweet Friday Fuckery: Cheesy Fun!

All praises due to PartyGurl912 for this visual blessing

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YouTube Clip of the Day

Posted by Fresh on March 2, 2010

Now that the Winter Olympics are a wrap we all can get back to enjoying the simple pleasures that Fat Tuesdays bring – - The Biggest Loser. Its a shame that this joyful noise for McDonald’s won’t get a commercial spot during the show, though.

Chew This Ass, Dive Yo Big Ass Down!, YAAAAAASSSSS!!! |

News Break: Woman says her love handles saved her life

Posted by Fresh on February 23, 2010

sam News Break: Woman says her love handles saved her life
Reduced price pork at the neighborhood meat market is not the reason behind the smile of  the sexual napalm that is Samantha Lynn Fraizer  – - this time.

A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar. Samantha Lynn Frazier said she heard two pops when she walked into Herman’s Place early Saturday. The 35-year-old then felt pain and saw blood on her hand after she grabbed her left side. Atlantic City police said Frazier was an innocent bystander.

Detective Lt. Charles Love said the gunman was aiming for a man who escaped with a bullet hole in his down jacket.

The suspect remains at large.

Frazier told The Press of Atlantic City she had been “hollering” how she wanted to lose weight. She now said “I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.”

Dive Yo Big Ass Down!, Team Chunk Stand The Fuck Up, You Got Me Fucked Up |

YouTube Clip of the Day

Posted by Fresh on January 22, 2010

Cuban Sausage Linx is taking over the internet one additional plane seat at a time! I don’t know whether to break it down all the way to the ground like Ronnie from Jersey Shore or to call CPS. I will just jig quietly to myself until I figure out what direction I want to take.

Come Come On The Drum Come Come!, Dive Yo Big Ass Down!, Doing The Most |

Team Chunk Members Kicked Off Dating Site For Being, Well, Fat

Posted by Fresh on January 5, 2010

CHUBBY Team Chunk Members Kicked Off Dating Site For Being, Well, Fat

While being able to produce tittay gravy can win you a double date with me and a Whopper Jr. it also can throw a monkey wrench in your plans to find love if you are looking to become a member of one online community. After being flagged by other [angry] members, about 5,000 fatties were booted from BeautifulPeople.com for gaining weight over the holidays. Where’s Obama?

“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded,” Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com, said in a statement.

“We responded to complaints by moving the newly chubby members back to the rating stage. This is the same as having them re-apply,” Greg Hodge, managing director of BeautifulPeople.com, said in a statement.

The company sent an email telling the members that they would need to reapply when they had lost the holiday chunk.

“Their re-applications were reviewed by existing members and only a few hundred were voted back in. Over 5,000 were rejected,” Hodge added. The United States had the most members who got the boot (1,520), followed by the U.K. (832) and Canada (533).

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