Before jetting off to scenic Hawaii to join daughter Keyshia Cole for her second wedding ceremony Frankie blessed the streets of Atlanta with fancy footwork in support of her debut dance single, “The Frankie Leg.” Now walk it out.

With Bankhead’s own walking memorial sperm bank Shawty Lo at her side, Frankie debuted the next dance craze that will eventually make its way to 106 & Porch’s Wild Out Wednesday stage earlier this week. And yes that’s her blaring voice pumping through your Beats By Dre headphones.

Oh, bother.

I tried my hardest to resist making a crackhead wisecrack comparing The Frankie Leg to The Gator but I’m going to just have to ask Based God for repentance on all that later.

Sadly, my ADD isn’t going to allow me to watch all 18 hours of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s upcoming fairytale wedding but this ELGINIZED version of their walk down the aisle is a perfect consolation prize.

Speaking as someone who still can’t do the Electric Slide after 25 years (life is not a fairytale nor the end of Madea’s Family Reunion) WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has better footwork than I will probably ever see in my lifetime. And I’m not mad about it one bit!

A video of Julian Assange dancing at a Reykjavík disco has been posted on Youtube and shows the WikiLeaks founder as you’ve never seen him before (except on his OKCupid dating profile maybe).

The video was shot in 2009 and the DJ claims he had no idea the white-haired dancer in the Iceland club was Julian Assange and was simply filming his slinky moves.

DJ Seth, who filmed the disco footage and also took pictures of Assange dancing, said: “[Assange] hesitated at first and I told him that I would not put them on Facebook.

“I thought it was cool that an older guy was going crazy to our music, since we played for a younger crowd.” (source)

I don’t make it a priority to watch American Idol past the try outs and last night was no exception, but thanks to the crime infested digital playground that is World Star Hip Hop people like me don’t have to miss a beat or palm to palm crack exchange. Heeeeere’s Damita Jo!

Fresh!

I was about to go to bed when the devil whispered in my ear to go check on Brother Franklin. From the looks of it I’m glad I did. He’s still dancing in a brand new pair of sneakers no less . . . AT HIS ALBUM RELEASE PARTY.

I’ve given wings to a Fuckery Angel for Wednesday.

Godspeed.

- – Patrice

Crunkland, it’s Kid Fury again with more music that needs your stamp of approval. Please get into this track by an artist named Hot2Def — it’s called “Leggings And Heels”. This one is for all the ladies and cunty butch queens who hit up Forever 21 before the club and keep the receipts to get store credit the morning after. Make the dance floor your runway, bitch! However, if your legs look like cottage cheese in a Hefty bag when you put your leggings on, this song is not for you. No shade.

“How you walk, girl/So short, but ya heels so tall, girl/Perfect balance! You don’t ever fall, girl/Even wear ‘em in the season after fall, girl/Without a flaw, girl”

Okay, so the lyrical content isn’t exactly poetry, but you can shake ass, pop puss, and practice your Top Model strut to this shit. The Creole Gods are indeed pleased. What more do you need? Geisha, Khia, and I are currently working on a remix called, “Beaters and Grills”. Stay tuned.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Note: Keep it cute and watch this clip on mute. Don’t worry you will get the same tragic effect as viewing it with sound.

SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.

Raven Symone performed in front of a sold out audience at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL last week. I’m sorry but all I see is the little fat girl dressed as a bumble bee from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video tap dancing around and shit. I bet you Raven even scurried off stage the same way. How dreadful!

This is Kid Fury with a special announcement! Dereon is starting an exclusive new collection at TJ Maxx and you can consider this the commercial. Well, not really, but how far off could I possibly be with that assumption? The Pride of the Knowles Clan has cranked a new video out for the kids and it couldn’t be anymore recession proof. You better get into those delightful special effects courtesy of Windows Movie Maker.

I hope you didn’t expect anything too extravagant. You know Killa Matt is making sure his daughter saves these coins. I mean, after the cost of lacefronts, Tina’s lipstick, Jay-Z’s Ped-Egg, and weekly shrimp gumbo dinners, that money thins out! So, if that means Sasha’s videos have to look like raunchy Sesame Street clips, then so be it! You ain’t paying for her finger waves!

Lip biting animal! Lip biting animal!

The wind was blowing, the kids were singing, people was dancing and shit! The energy inside the Apollo Theater during a tribute to Michael Jackson earlier this week was so high that the usually reserved Al Sharpton jooked on stage like he was at a block party in Opa-Locka with Cousin Pam for the entire world to see. Who would’ve ever thunk ol Uncle Al’s sticking and rolling game would be proper? If someone has the video to this please post it in the comments!