Fresh!
I was about to go to bed when the devil whispered in my ear to go check on Brother Franklin. From the looks of it I’m glad I did. He’s still dancing in a brand new pair of sneakers no less . . . AT HIS ALBUM RELEASE PARTY.
I’ve given wings to a Fuckery Angel for Wednesday.
Godspeed.
- – Patrice
Crunkland, it’s Kid Fury again with more music that needs your stamp of approval. Please get into this track by an artist named Hot2Def — it’s called “Leggings And Heels”. This one is for all the ladies and cunty butch queens who hit up Forever 21 before the club and keep the receipts to get store credit the morning after. Make the dance floor your runway, bitch! However, if your legs look like cottage cheese in a Hefty bag when you put your leggings on, this song is not for you. No shade.
“How you walk, girl/So short, but ya heels so tall, girl/Perfect balance! You don’t ever fall, girl/Even wear ‘em in the season after fall, girl/Without a flaw, girl”
Okay, so the lyrical content isn’t exactly poetry, but you can shake ass, pop puss, and practice your Top Model strut to this shit. The Creole Gods are indeed pleased. What more do you need? Geisha, Khia, and I are currently working on a remix called, “Beaters and Grills”. Stay tuned.
Note: Keep it cute and watch this clip on mute. Don’t worry you will get the same tragic effect as viewing it with sound.
SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.
Raven Symone performed in front of a sold out audience at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL last week. I’m sorry but all I see is the little fat girl dressed as a bumble bee from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video tap dancing around and shit. I bet you Raven even scurried off stage the same way. How dreadful!
This is Kid Fury with a special announcement! Dereon is starting an exclusive new collection at TJ Maxx and you can consider this the commercial. Well, not really, but how far off could I possibly be with that assumption? The Pride of the Knowles Clan has cranked a new video out for the kids and it couldn’t be anymore recession proof. You better get into those delightful special effects courtesy of Windows Movie Maker.
I hope you didn’t expect anything too extravagant. You know Killa Matt is making sure his daughter saves these coins. I mean, after the cost of lacefronts, Tina’s lipstick, Jay-Z’s Ped-Egg, and weekly shrimp gumbo dinners, that money thins out! So, if that means Sasha’s videos have to look like raunchy Sesame Street clips, then so be it! You ain’t paying for her finger waves!
Lip biting animal! Lip biting animal!
The wind was blowing, the kids were singing, people was dancing and shit! The energy inside the Apollo Theater during a tribute to Michael Jackson earlier this week was so high that the usually reserved Al Sharpton jooked on stage like he was at a block party in Opa-Locka with Cousin Pam for the entire world to see. Who would’ve ever thunk ol Uncle Al’s sticking and rolling game would be proper? If someone has the video to this please post it in the comments!
Hey Fresh,
I know that like me, you are an avid fan of Dlisted! I thought you should know about the “Hot Slut of the Day” from a day or so ago, Brother Franklin. Apparently he is becoming famous in Houston for dancing during offering time at church. I have posted a link below because words dont do him justice. My fave part is at the 44 seond mark.
- – Sasha
With amazing dance moves and window licker approved lyrics Mr. Hit Dat Hoe [real moniker no gimmicks] is picking up where Crunchy Black left off. Your cousins in this video are definitely missing a chromosome or four but we’re not going to hold that against them. It’s Friday!
I love the South. It makes me feel damn good knowing that I can walk up the street at any time and watch fuckery like this go down live.
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