File this one under when niggas have ideas that fail.

The majority of you probably don’t know [or care] about Big Kuntry but I had to share this fuckery with you. You may recognize him as the Team Chunk member standing alongside T.I. looking hungry in various Grand Hustle music videos.

Now its his turn to eat. I can’t.

This is all Tiny’s fault. You know she was sitting there tossing concepts out at the studio one night. Clifford, put a muzzle on your chick.

[Album flick via The Rezidue]

Rocking a Yankees fitted and Dolce & Gabbana flea market shades, the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

I blame Jay-Z! His ass said “I put on for my city so, when I’m dead and gone I got one last wish, put my Yankees hat on” in his verse on the remix to “I Put On.” What part of the game is this?!

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son’s last wish. [1]

Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating. [source]

[1] Riddle me this Batman: Did he know in advance that somebody was going to murk him out?

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]

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There was an assassination attempt on First Lady Diamond in Atlanta on Saturday night but Da Brat saved her life by serving as a human shield.

In my head at least.

Celebrities scrambled for the exits early Saturday morning when gunshots rang out at an Atlanta party hosted by Jermaine Dupri and Sean “Diddy” Combs. A security guard suffered minor injuries when his arm was grazed by a bullet but no one else was hurt.

“I’m sad this incident happened because it interrupted a beautiful and loving party. But I’m happy none of my people or friends got hurt. And the party continues,” Dupri told People.

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Shameless coons [copyright Kid Fury] are having the best week ever. I hurt for my people. Come and get your cousins off of the premises before I call Johnny Law on their trifling asses!

Possibly NSFW viewing materials under the cut.

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The New York Post reports rapper Queen Pen was assaulted by her boyfriend inside her Flatbush, Brooklyn apartment earlier this month.

Queen Pen, a tough-talking rapper and advocate for domestic violence victims, is in fear for her life as police hunt her ex-boyfriend, who allegedly pummeled her in front of their children and broke her Grammy Award in a fit of blind rage.

Pen, 35, said she was attacked May 9 after an argument, during which her ex - Kendall Wicker, 29 - trashed her East Flatbush apartment, put a brick through her windshield and threatened to kill her.

The outburst came three months after Pen told police that Wicker, who is the father of two of the rapper’s five children, punched her in the face so hard during a dispute that she needed oral surgery to secure teeth knocked loose by the blow.

A police report of the incident makes no mention of a physical assault and neither Pen nor police have seen Wicker since the latest incident.

She should call up Blackstreet to handle her lightweight. No diggity, no doubt. All jokes aside, domestic abuse is never alright people. Come on!

I’ve got to start attending more city council meetings! Council members are always on their best dramatic cunty behavior. First an old woman falls the fuck out after barely being touched and now a shouting match. If I didn’t know any better I would think those two were sending kinky text messages to each other before things went sour.

And yes, she called him Shrek.

[Thanks Malcolm]

Good evening, Crunksters! First, let me state that I am not Fresh, but instead her Bust It Baby — Kid Fury. Fresh has blessed me with the opportunity to slide in to C+D every now and then and drop knowledge on these hoes. Ta-Da!

Now, for my first post, I would like to address something that has been plaguing the Internet for a while — Stans + Youtube. Something must be done about this epidemic. It seems to be contagious and may even be deadly. To the above video (NSFW…I think), I have no words. My soul is more fried up than a KFC variety bucket.

If you have or know someone who has a stan-tacious video online, do the right thing and take it down. Thank you.

LaLa Valquez reached out to People magazine to clear the air about reports that she refused to pick up fiancé NBA star Carmelo Anthony after his recent DUI arrest.

“I want to make sure the public understands that I fully support my fiancé, Carmelo Anthony, and stand by him through this ordeal,” Vazquez, a former MTV veejay, says in a statement to PEOPLE on Tuesday.

“I will always have his back and never refused to pick him up from the police station. In fact, they offered to bring him to me.”

Anthony was arrested early Monday morning near downtown Denver, hours after leading his Denver Nuggets to victory over the Houston Rockets.

The NBA star reiterated his love for Vazquez in his own statement to PEOPLE: “LaLa continues to be a rock in my life, she’s always been there for me through thick and thin.”

The couple have a child together, 1-year-old son Kiyan. Vazquez will soon costar in the movie Let the Church Say Amen [Future BET Blackbuster hit, ya'll. - - Fresh] and will host and executive produce VH1’s upcoming reality show The Sixth Man.

You know I have got to ask — when do they plan on getting married? I remember reading about their engagement back in my dorm days. When the time finally comes for them to exchange vows I will be collecting social security and retired to Florida with The Dealer.