What goes on behind closed doors inside of Dirt Angel’s bedroom is everybody’s business.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Don’t ever say what you wouldn’t do, especially if your mother’s buzz on World Star Hip Hop is stronger than yours. How Jim Jones came to discover what the original version of Curry Goat’s Talk That Talk track sounded like in the first place is the most pressing issue at the time. Yandy plays too much.

Niggas like pussy and girls like money.

Although the proceeding could easily be mistaken as a text message of encouragement from Al Reynolds to Evelyn Lozada it is instead lyrics from a new song in Khia’s ever expanding hymnal of gutter bitch spirituals. Lift every voice and sing.

LISTEN NOW ON THE FURY

With his ass placed securely on top of his shoulders its no wonder why Trade Songz is known to let out an audible scoff when compared to other male R&B contemporaries. Although “Pacman Your Body” sounds like some shit she would put on a free mixtape rather than a studio album I now understand where sister girl is coming from. I would develop an Ali world’s greatest complex, too.

Representing two separate generations of proud black men whose eyes light up when the subject of their past raunchy prowess in Hide And Go Get It comes up while flirting with single mothers working concession stands at high school sporting events . . . Pretty Ricky, Jodeci and H-Town.

Although they have been down at the welfare trying to get their respective situations straightened out for some time now the audible ignorance provided by the Ying Yang Twins will forever reverberate in my soul. With a new music video to support their upcoming mixtape  its apparent that Kaine and D-Roc are still appreciative of big asses and sub-par lace fronts.

Allow me to just come out and say what we all have been thinking for months: The name Kreayshawn should belong to a rising star athlete from Long Beach Polytechnic High.

Here’s where the sweet turns sour. The 20-something year old white studio gangtress (who judging from all outside appearances would be better suited performing inventory at a nearby Betsey Johnson store location) on screen rap aspirations aren’t a lost skit from Mad TV. She’s dead serious about this shit.

Quiet conquests are often times the most fulfilling but a couple of victory laps around the track while waving the confederate state flag of choice would be more than appropriate in this case for southern hip hop fans. They can’t blame this shit on us, B.

Rapper Mr. EBT’s eyes still light up like that of a child on Christmas Day when the words “EBT Accepted” appears on the outside of a place of business so following the creative genius of Alicia Keys and Alabaster Creole he decided to put it in a love song.

“Bitch hold up, who the fuck are you? / Cause you see my swiping you asking for Mountain Dew? / She confused / This ain’t even my shit / She let me hold it for a while, bitch.” Welcome to my hood.

The hood has found its answer to Willow Smith and it comes in the form of a 10-year-old girl from Houston, TX who goes by the name Lyrikkal. With braggadocios lyrics, a cheap chain, and a familiar beat anyone can be a rapper so if Diamond twists her ankle in seven years, Lyrikkal may have a future.

“My flow so cold. I’m only 10 so just imagine when I’m 18.”

We can imagine and the silent tears have already started to flow.

If an influx of random violent acts start occurring to young men and women wearing fitted caps outside of Lids store locations across the country look to this video for the influence behind the crime.

SAD GABOUREY FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

If Amy Winehouse’s sober face had a love child with M.I.A.’s voice that watched one too many episodes of 106 & Park it would be Kreayshawn (you so kreaytiff, girl).

Taking Malibu’s Most Wanted a wee bit too seriously, Kreayshawn spits hot fire about pushing weight at the trap house (the prescription drug adderall at the Golden Gate Bridge), pulling hoes (her Biology classmate after a kegger), and boasts of swag pumping out her ovaries (no insurance, no gynecologist).

The chances of Kreayshawn becoming the next rap sensation are about as likely as Somaya Reece getting a call from Jay-Z, but she’s not completely useless.

The next time a tragic queen comes at you slick repeat after Kreayshawn: “Bitch, you ain’t no Barbie/I seen you work at Arby’s/Number 2, supersize, hurry up, I’m starving.”