If looking in the mirror every morning to find Lucy Liu staring back is enough to motivate Lil’ Kim to invite herself to hop on the “Flawless” remix who are we to stop her?
The new mommy to daughter Royal Reign who “can still spit on the dick like an instrumental” surprised her legion of verified account Paypal users by dropping her own remix to the track — and using it as an opportunity to diss Nicki Minaj.
Never mind the fact that she didn’t have enough selfies to recreate the cover art or that she recorded her verse on the intercom system at the drive thru at McDonalds, lets focus on what’s important here: Lil Kim has Wi-Fi in 2014.
While Jackie Christie is too busy working on getting a sponsorship from Lifestyle Lift and battling the post-traumatic stress syndrome she developed from losing her first true love during a slave trade in Missisippi, her daughter Chani Christie focused her energy on becoming the Teairra Mari of her generation.
Rewind to 2008 when R&B greats like Brooke Valentine and Toya were on hiatus, leaving the lane wide open for someone to wear the crown of fatherless teenage chicken heads. Chani Christie flipped the check her grandma gifted her with for her Sweet 16, downloaded some free beats off YouTube, and recorded a handful of fuckery filled songs during her lunch break at Footlocker.
I turned off all the lights in my house and peaked through the blinds when the subject line “New Music: Eddie Murphy - Promise (You Won’t Break My Heart)” hit my inbox.
I will never forget what this country did to our civil right leaders so I know what it is capable of doing to my Black ass through the power of music. My conspiracy theory is that a sniper was waiting in the wings for me to fling my door open and run out of my house screaming bloody murder into the night’s sky as I covered my ears just like this. Too fast for the feds, too cocky for the cops.
According to his reps, Donkey’s upcoming album tentatively titled 9 “highlights the range of Murphy’s musical talent, which encompasses a wealth of influences that zips across a wide variety of music genres.” I’ll let Black Twitter be the judge of that. Skeet or delete?
Fresh:Lil Kim’s career relaunch has had more false starts than the 1989 Geo Metro Evelyn Lozada is trying to convince people that her mama still drives around the Bronx “because she wants to.” Do you think her new video for “Looks Like Money” will be enough to bring her back?
Christian: Back to the unemployment office. I wanna know which currency she is trying to compare herself to.
‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ star Apollo Nida roughed up Kenya Moore’s assistant / god friend Brandon DeShazer last night, and the brawl was over their Donkey-Stallion-Jack-Ass-Booty workout dvd drama. All that aggression from two tapioca pudding colored men. It’s a shame that Tyler Perry had to miss out.
Apollo reportedly flew into a rage and “violently attacked” Brandon at a party that was being filmed for the upcoming season of the popular reality show. With cameras catching every second of the squabble, he had to be restrained by seven male crew members before finally simmering down.
If I had a Little Hugin arm’s reach I would snatch it up and hurl it at the screen with the same amount of power as a doped up Major League Baseball player. But since that isn’t an option at the moment, um, it’s my pleasure to present to you the following well-aged clip in hopes that it gets passed around like a fruit cake during Christmas season.
Who am I kidding? I bodied rolled a full 30 minutes to it today. Look at me, burning calories and shit.