Casket Sharp: Never Too Much, Never Too Much
Believe me when I say that this muthafucka is becoming increasingly flagrant with this shit as a way to stay relevant.
Archive for the 'Casket Sharp' Category
Jacking For Posts: What Not To Wear
From The House of Stuff Fly People Like
I was waiting for the train the other day-when POW! The Grim reaper showed up with his bag of tricks.
This dude is determined for me to meet my death in the train station! The attack is always HEAVY!
As if those sad little yellow gladiators were not enough to make me dizzy…the rest of the outfit gave me visions of baby Jesus frowning in the manger.
Do yourself a favor and hold on to something before you take a look.
Casket Sharp: Sparkle!
Never mind auntie’s baby toes being smashed like a toddler’s finger in a car door. Agnes Dereon is smiling down from heaven right now.
As I previously predicted, there were no shortage of prominent guts at The 7th Annual Hoodie Awards on Saturday night. A multitude of your cousins traveled from near and far to fill The Mandalay Bay Events Center with fashion fuckery but none shined brighter than Teena Marie. Get you a piece, whore!
I knew someone would take advantage of Wal-Mart getting rid of the fabric department but I never expected it to be someone of the non-creole persuasion.
Back & Fourth: Where Is Deacon Frye?!
See, Craig’s Mama play too much. Anne Maria Horsford was casket ready at the NBAF Midsummer Gala in Atlanta over the weekend. Here’s a snippet of the instant messenger conversation J. Coop and I had about Thelma Frye.
J. Coop: Her eyes, they seem to be empty
Fresh: She looks like that one auntie who had a mental break down in the 90s but nobody in the family ever brings it up
J. Coop: Did she call Samuel J. before leaving the house and say “Let’s coordinate”? Looking like she’s going to the Spring Prom, Year 1989
Fresh: LaTanya needs to put a stop to that shit
J. Coop: Anne Maria looks like one of the people that haven’t been invited to anything in years and when she finally gets the chance, she over-compensates in party attire
Fresh: And gets drunk halfway through the evening and starts singing the intro song to In The Heat of the Night
J. Coop: I wonder, though, did Dorian’s dick helped her get dressed?
Fresh: Her skirt looks like the little white shoes we put on the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner
J. Coop: Her shoes looks like hoofs, true talk . . . she looks like she said to herself “I’m going to out do everyone there so I’m going to make my own shit” and she did. Singer Sewing Machine-game proper. Why everybody trying to be so different these days? What’s so wrong with a simple shirt and skirt?
Girl, You So Regal
Kim Porter showing up to the Malaria No More white party dressed like a high voodoo priestess put the final nail in the Diddy Is Poison coffin. She could’ve went for a more subtle whore for propaganda approach by just hacking up her edges with an eye brow razor but I think we all know how important her baby hair is to her. I’m not sure what country Mouf Breever reps but he’s giving these broads a bad case of the island dick blues. See Lauryn Hill for more details.
Casket Sharp: Our Children Are Not Safe
Never mind the Maxine Shaw braid bob there are bigger issues going on in the above picture. Your Cousin thought it would be a good luck to deck her child in this dreadful House of Dead Wrong cheetah-rific outfit. I don’t have any children of my own but even I know that you don’t set kids up for failure by sending them out into the world looking like they are the future lace front supporters.
Hit up Destiny’s Child: The Rumors for more full fledge fashion fuckery.
The “Say Something Nice” Challenge
Your cousin is too futuristic for me to even begin to break down, so I need your assistance. Why does his insist on assiting the devil?
Casket Sharp: All The Single Lettuce x Claire’s Clearance Section
If looking the fool for live performances were a job Katrina Laverne would have full benefits and a nice 401K package. I don’t know what her obession is with looking like a member of the World Famous Pork N’ Beans Projects Ice Capades but if she plans on making it into the kingdom she needs to stop.
Please visit The House of Fury to weigh in on all the additional errors in this photo. I cannot and will not give this any more of my energy.
I’m Just Saying . . .
While opinions on how President Obama is running the country so far are varied I think we can all agree that we all grateful that First Lady Michelle isn’t rolling up to the White House looking like she just completed a challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. See my fellow Americans, it could always be worse.
Pope Benedict XVI hopefully performed an exorcism on The First Lady of Cameroon Chantal Biya and her husband while he was visiting the country last month. Check out some flashback side-eye action from Chantal under the cut.
Crowd Participation: Public Funeral Procession
The fuck? No really, what in the fuck? My day has been far too long to even start up on this official certified glowstick carrier so I will let you have a go at her. Blame Freddy O for snapping this.
