Rocking a Yankees fitted and Dolce & Gabbana flea market shades, the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

I blame Jay-Z! His ass said “I put on for my city so, when I’m dead and gone I got one last wish, put my Yankees hat on” in his verse on the remix to “I Put On.” What part of the game is this?!

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son’s last wish. [1]

Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating. [source]

[1] Riddle me this Batman: Did he know in advance that somebody was going to murk him out?

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]

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Disappointed from the lack of foolery but not detoured from my mission, I hit up Ozonemag.com in search of fashion fuckery from events from the award show weekend and look what fell into my lap like a ton of Arethas.

The expression on homegirl’s face is priceless. She looks like she just saw a puddle of tacky juice on the floor and she is afraid that she is going to slip in it. Too late! This is what happens when you try to advance your modeling career by responding to bulletins posted on MySpace written by dudes name Vyshonn . [1]

As far as your other cousin is concerned, may the force be with him. This nigga [sorry Bill Cosby] has an Diamonique encrusted fly swatter used for, well, swatting hoes! And yes his hater blockas read “ho-tester.” I can’t and even if I had the energy I wouldn’t. Who looked more dressed for a closed casket funeral?

[1] Blame Silkk the Shocker’s mama.

Hey Fresh,

Took a break from shucklin corn and pickin cotton for the massa to check out the photos from the local meet and greet that Ice Cube had here in Dallas.

*SIGH*

He couldn’t help but facial express his impression of the people in attendance. Maybe he just has no experience with “Casket Sharp” Dress Attire. Check out what I mean.

- - Maxie

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I’m not going to tell ya’ll that I thought this was Tisha Campbell-Martin at first. Nope, I’m just going to keep that to myself.

Gloria Trevi looked like Rainbow Brite meets Pippi Longstockings on an acid trip turned awry while she signed copies of her new album in Mexico. This is a classic example of the clothes wearing a person and not the other way around. If Gaymonn showed up at Al Reynold’s All White Mouth To Mouth Snowball event rocking this number I doubt anybody would say one and get on their knees “we’re not worthy” style. But this? This?

Let the bodies hit the floor.

After viewing pictures of Shia LaBeouf’s mama over at Dlisted I can understand why that boy hits the bottle so hard. This woman could’ve been Rihanna’s monster-in-all! She may think she is edgy and all but I know Pon De Forehead is happy that she canceled that subscription.

Kelis is still making it extremely difficult for me to openly stan for her. This whole art & design college student look that she has been rocking lately has really left me perturbed. [See more flicks at Concrete Loop]

Who looked more dressed for a closed casket funeral?

Get into this! Tina Turner [pictured with Giorgio Armani's sun dried ass] donned a bedazzled onsie / jumper at an event earlier this month while today’s face from the milk carton Anna Maria Horsford was dressed up in fug at the National Black Arts Festival Gala In Atlanta over the weekend.

Who looked more dressed for a closed casket funeral?

Keri Hilson took a step into the bad side while Lil’ Llama relived her childhood by channeling Strawberry Shortcake on the arrival area at the ‘08 EBT Awards. Who looked more dressed for a closed casket funeral?

The wig crypt is on high alert! One tragic negroid put her own twist on the swimsuit Bust It Creole wore during the photo shoot for B’Day. Cognac Jack’s little sister was probably thinking “I’m going to put a hurting on these hoes at prom” when she revealed her design plans to her seamstress.

I don’t know why these grown ass people are trying to pass themselves off as teenagers. Church’s pumps all type of steroids and shit in their chicken but Ricky-Ticky-Timbo-No-Surrender! These momofukas are only 3 years away from being eligible to collect a social security check.

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