In her former life, Honey Boo Boo Child supported herself, son Raekwon and  Baby Phat velour tracksuit addiction by working double shifts at Obama Beauty Supply, and none of you are going to tell me anything different about it. The mother of the Toddler & Tiaras star offered some real talk to Good Morning America correspondent Andrea Canning about the love of Alana’s chug.

With beads of sweat forming on her juice in the brisk night air, the queen diva Big Freedia incited wobbling white folks to a riot pitch in her network television debut on ‘Jimmy Kimmel’ this past Wednesday, making the moment only second to Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s illustrious trip to pick up food stamps in a limo as the most influential milestone in television history for residents living in the lower 9th ward in New Orleans.

So, you know the hair and mug were both laid on the highest level. I’m talking lying in state tease. Catch a wall and bring in the weekend the right way after the jump!

Stereo Gum — To know Freedia is to know that she worships at the altar of ass, and that this makes the prospect of a scrubbed-up Freedia performance a curious one. How would she handle it? By not handling it at all, it turns out, and I mean that literally: there were no hands on butts, and those butts were fully clothed (also a rarity for Freedia), but the bent-over choreography and “wobble wobble wobble” chants made it clear where Big Freedia comes from and what’s in store if you were to catch a show not on a TV set.

All in all, it was a reasonable amount of behind for network TV, and it did well to frame Freedia’s butt-rap amalgam and charismatic gender-bent pied-piper routine.

Now who mad?

For Deck 7

I imagine Drake spent much of today fighting off tears as he performed the “Are You That Somebody” choreography in his living room as a tribute to the late Aaliyah on her birthday. Aubrey has made his affinity for Aaliyah creepily clear with his constant shout outs, random open letters to the dead that seemed more appropriate for a séance versus a blog post, and now shots like these featuring the face of the singer on his surprisingly nice back. While I know it’s Drake’s body and he and Lil’ Wayne are free to do with it as they please (kidding, y’all), it’s still weird — even for reasons outside the obvious.

Okay, so you decided to put that somebody on your body. Fine, whatever, super stan. But, why is Mr. Owl from the Tootsie Roll pop commercials on the other side of your back, though?

CONTINUE READING AT THE CYNICAL ONES

Although looks can be deceiving allow me to reassure you that these photos were not snapped during a reception following an emotional civil union service. Slickback Ivanhoe and Cuba Gooding, Jr. couldn’t keep their paws and lips off each other on Tuesday night at the “Red Tails” New York premiere after-party. Somebody got tea bagged last night and surprisingly it wasn’t me.

Fresh,

After searching the web for covers of hip hop songs done by white folks (don’t ask why but when you find a white dude rappin and playin a guitar to “Today Was A Good Day” after a long day at work, it just does something special to you). So, I stumbled upon this gem of what I assume is Atlanta’s finest in fish cuisine. Or not . . . but either way this kind of made my search for covers a little bit more interesting. I’ve been called Trade before and never knew what the hell that was but now I know what it is and . . . that’s still not me. Lol Enjoy!

Faithful reader,

Xavier D.

Just as the High Priestess of Cunt (commonly referred to by lessers as Omarion) was putting the finishing touches on his press release denouncing all things Kardashian wedding related Mr. 106 & Porch was on the verge of creating pandemonium amongst excited fans at a show in Indianapolis. After on duty police officials at the show advised Miss Moss that it wouldn’t be the best idea to interact with fans still located in the stands he subsequently elected to let his pussy air dry. Roll that beautiful bean footage.

When Delonte West is away his cat will play. With her baby hair smoothed down immaculately on her forehead Bron Bron’s mom Gloria James supported her baby boy on Friday night in Miami at a private dinner kicking off a weekend filled with giving back. (More flicks from the invite-only dinner below.) Look ma, no DUI arrest.

The LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh served as the hosts of the South Florida All-Star Classic, a charity exhibition basketball game held at Florida International University which featured nine NBA all-star players.

But, more important than all of that is this:

It’s a brand new day for The Boiler Room Girls. Don’t be mad.

Confusing Bishop Eddie Long’s 5th accuser Centino Kemp with Ciara circa “Goodies” era wasn’t on my lists of things to do this morning but I have zero complaints about it happening.

Giving you a smokey eye and nude lip beat, Kemp performed his future Top 40 hit single “Pornography” (now available for purchase on iTunes) after participating in a panel discussion on an array of topics focusing on the subject of homosexuality earlier this week in Atlanta. Watch House Mother Centino go to work and view more pictures after the jump!

Our girl Miss Sophia was in the building looking as radiant as ever!

Which one of you queens requested a “1+1″ cover?

View more pictures at Freddy O!

Much to the chagrin of the shade thrower playing the sidelines (just look at him) Jamie Foxx treated sister Deidra Dixon to dinner at Scarpetta located inside of the Fontainebleau hotel in Miami and an unforgettable night of clubbing in celebration of her birthday.

Keep your eyes on Tasia Mae’s prize! While desperate housewives are falling over themselves trying to keep their husbands away from Evelyn Lozada’s self service pump Fantasia has emerged from Keri Hilson’s yaki recycling bin victorious and barefoot.

Tasia stomped the yard at The Venue at The Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana on Friday wearing a fancy sausage casing, matching lace gloves and a modest 3-pairs of diamond stud earrings — all purchased at the counter of Leyomi’s Beauty Supply right next to the $0.99 plastic eyebrow archer thingies. Style and grace.