The baddest bitch is back, she’s reloaded, and she’s killing you hoes all while looking thicker than some 3 day old cold grits. She’s also getting to the money. Well, at least trying to.

Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson, who has previously claimed to not only to be married married to but also given birth to upwards of 15 children fathered by Michael Jackson, filed a motion to be put in control of the King of Pop’s estate.

In a 93-page document filed Wednesday afternoon, Nona requested “that all my husband’s properties, monies and assets must be transferred to me immediately.” She also made the bizarre demand that “my husband’s body must be returned to the coroner’s body or the mortuary immediately.”

Well cot damn, there must be two sides! I doubt if MJ ever meet this real life wanna-be Billie Jean yet alone had the pleasure of piping her down but a check is a check. How else is she going to afford  that much needed appointment with Celebrity Seaborn?

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Pray for my haters because I am spreading my fuckery around the internet! When I am not doing hoe shit and ranting on Twitter you will be able to catch me over at HoneyMag.com giving my praises to Yahweh + pop culture. I was suppose to write my first piece for the site a looooong time ago but I couldn’t decide on what I wanted to go in on and then I heard an oink from the heavens. Sweet epiphany.

To say I was less than enthusiastic when BET announced that Tiny & Toya would be a part of their summer line up would be an understatement. I expected the show to be nothing more than another chapter in the book about the lavish lives of two hip-hop baby mamas who stay Louis down to the socks. Something I could definitely go without in my $5-foot-long-for-dinner world. Besides, we all have The Desperate Housewives of Bankhead (along with the fabulous Dwight Eubanks) and their rented lifestyles to fill that void, no?

Once the expensive stilettos and oversized bags were set aside I quickly realized that Tameka and Toya are the same type of chicks who I sit next to in the beauty salon, laugh with over cocktails, exchange mean mugs with at the club, call when I need a hook up at the MAC counter, and pray for at night. [CONTINUE AT HONEYMAG.COM]

Watch last night’s sneak peak episode and check pictures of Tiny & Toya looking tragic with all them  Lil’ Mo inspired prison tattoos out on the red carpet at the EBT Awards under the cut.

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But first let the record show that I will never forgive my twin Kid Fury for saying that the Sam’s Choice version of Rabid Beaver’s lips resembled a pig’s pussy.

Dawn and Mz. Que fight the battle against good and evil in a new shots snapped by celebrity photographer Derek Blanks. As a supporter of Prop 8 and think its wonderful these two women are courageously showing their affection towards each other in such a bold and public way. The sacred act of bumping tangueray area never meant so much to me before. Thank you for sharing, kids.

Instead of frolicking around in front of the camera they should be asking questions on why Diddy has been holding their checks for the last month but if they like it you know I love it. One would think it would be hard to cool off after a hot round of birthday sex with no electricity in your apartment but let love rule!

Bad Boy for life.

Bow Wow and Jim Jones may be hitting up your local mall together to ask for applications at the food court. According to the rumor mill the two have been dropped by Columbia Records. The House of YBF reported earlier this week that the record label officially severed ties with Omarion’s scalp masseuse and have removed our beloved Dirt Angel’s name from the artist roster on their website.

What jobs should Dirt Angel and Bow Wow pursue while they wait to be signed by another label?

Hey Fresh, love your site!! I’m a very loyal visitor, my cousin and I chat about your site like we watching old re-runs of the Good Times. Anyway I thought the female Crunksters would love to check out this video. Being a very practical girl, I can totally relate to this video and only needing a man with a great healthcare plan. Forget what you heard about a man being able to pull up to the valet driving a Maybach or giving Louis’ or Gucci handbags just because. What I really want to know is–does your health care plan cover DENTAL AND VISION CARE?!?!

Oh and how can I become a dependent?

- - Clairvoyance

Never mind the random ass sandals on the sofa and throw back computer monitor. You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things. [© Kanye Omari]

As I said earlier, Tiny and Toya are women of  distinction and cannot be bothered with low budget bitches. These two elegant princess are hard at work promoting their upcoming EBT reality series. We all know that Tiny deserves to bask in the spotlight [she was in Xscape, she deserves top billing] but I am having my doubts about this Toya chick. She was once married to a gremlin at one point in time, that’s cool, but the relationship only spawned one child. That isn’t fucking with the Cottle-Harris litter whatsoever!

Check out the trailer for the upcoming fuckery fest at The House of ATLIEN.

A 49-year-old man impersonated his dead 77-year-old mother in paperwork — and sometimes in person — for six years, collecting more than $100,000 in her name, according to the Brooklyn district attorney.

The man sometimes dressed as his mother and, with an accomplice, collected more than $52,000 in Social Security benefits and another $65,000 in city rent subsidies, prosecutors said.

Thomas Parkin and a man accused of being his accomplice, Mhilton Rimolo, 47, pleaded not guilty Wednesday to a sweeping 47-count grand jury indictment that includes charges of perjury, grand larceny, conspiracy, forgery and criminal impersonation, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles J. Hynes told reporters.

Their bail was set at $1 million each. If convicted, they could each face up to 25 years in prison.

“These defendants ran a multiyear campaign of fraud that was unparalleled in its scope and brazenness,” Hynes said.

Authorities allege Parkin impersonated his late mother, Irene Prusik, after her death in September 2003.

On April 29, surveillance video captured Parkin posing as his mother to renew her driver’s license at a state Department of Motor Vehicles office in Brooklyn, authorities said. Parkin was wearing a blonde wig, a red sweater, sunglasses and a scarf around the neck, authorities said.

Next to him was Rimolo, who was pretending to be her nephew, authorities said. [source]

I have been blessed to have a mother in my life that  has made incredible sacrifices to insure that I had everything I needed and also a couple unimportant desires. Now with all that being said I don’t know how I would feel about my mother posting an ad like this [actually I do] on Craigslist but if you are looking to make a quick buck you better jump on it! Cash is king around these parts.

My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.

Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price. Interested individuals please let me know your rap experience, video of you performing as Lil Wayne would be better. If that is not feasible we can arrange for a live audition.

Serious inquiries only, this is very important to my family. Young Money Baby!