Turn your lights and Bedroom Kandi vibrator down low. Brian McKnight has released the full version of “If You’re Ready To Learn” and it makes me want to praise dance. Who got them Cialis pills on deck?

Complimentary pussy squirts via Kid Fury + Miss Info 

Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! A very pregnant Kim Zolciak made moves around New York City on Wednesday (April 25) to promote her ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ spinoff, ‘Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding.’ How do you rate her look?

“Well, you get to see my real hair,” Mrs. Kroy Biermann tells The Hollywood Reporter about what viewers can expect from the new series. “People are going to get to see Kroy’s family and they’re going to get to see some drama between my mother and myself, between my best friend of 12 years and myself, and just the stress and excitement of planning a wedding in a short amount of time and then the actual event — which was just amazing — with a little bit of drama.”

During the interview, Sweetie’s former sugar cookie go-getter dispatcher took a jab at thug misses Marlo Hampton for casting doubt on her Atlanta Falcons-signed hubby’s finances during the reunion special.

“Let’s be honest, Marlo is known for being an escort, like she’s known for that . . .  It’s common knowledge in Atlanta,” she began.

“If you want to spread your legs and make money, then so be it, but don’t comment on somebody that had a full on four-and-a-half year relationship with somebody, and is now married, expecting a second child with her husband, and bring up some nonsense, or ever imply that my husband would use Big Poppa’s ring to purchase this one.”

Illustration by David Gilmore for Pretty On The Outside

Despite Kim Zolciak’s many attempts to keep the DIY stunt diva down, if Cynthia Bailey gets her way the next season of ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ will have more name-dropping than a are you the father segment on Maury.

“I think Marlo [Hampton] is definitely very entertaining for the show,” Cynthia tells The Hollywood Reporter.

“Whenever she’s in the equation, things always take a different turn than what they thought it was going to be. So, Marlo would be really, really great to throw into the mix and see what’s going to happen. Things usually are always a little different when she is around.”

“I can honestly say that South Africa would not have been the same if Marlo Hampton had not come on that trip.”

Will this new bond cause Cynthia to change her relationship status on Facebook?

“My relationship with NeNe is very different from hers. They do their thing; Nene and I do our thing. NeNe and I both have different friends,” she says. “The friend contract never said you couldn’t have other friends.”

Cynthia and that darn contract! Is she just jealous because She by Sheree is finally about to take the world by storm?

Post by Ronald of RonaldMatters.com – Your good judy when it comes to celebrity entertainment with a side of the serious ish you need to know. Tweet me so I know it’s real @RonaldMatters

If misery loves company Khia and the comatose village feeders on her chest are never left alone. After unsuccessful campaigns at cyber beef with more prominent female rappers (Sole, Shawnna and Ms. Jade have better things to do), Thug Misses finally found an opposite side to wage a war of 140 characters or less with when fellow A-Town rep Diamond took the bait.

And this little piggy went kee kee kee all the way home.

You’ve got to admit, Lot Lizard was a good one. Diamond didn’t respond directly back to Khia but she did try her hand at serving slander:

PHOTOS: Brandy and Monica — making the video

The sisters with voices dropped by Power 105.1′s The Breakfast Club on Wednesday (March 14) to chop it up with the on their past manufactured beef, why Ray J won’t return Charlamagne’s phone calls and more. (Watch the interview here)

Monica on her “hood” status

“I like to call it real. People don’t respect the real anymore. Everybody is so busy with their facades you can’t get through to who people are. So, I mean, if hood is in your mind when you think of when you think of real then I’ll accept that. I’ll be anything but fake.”

On their made up beef

Monica: “What happened was they did the same thing they do now with the rappers and the females, they kind of create it first, and we were young enough to just fall into the traps. We didn’t like each other, we didn’t communicate, we didn’t perform the record outside of the one time on the MTV Awards. We never wanted to be in each others presence for years. At 16 and 17, that was one thing but at these ages, it’s unacceptable. It’s too much to be done, and we can do more together than we can separately, so we don’t feed into that now.”

Brandy: “I felt like the drama is what made me want to even do the song with her . . . It was basically built off of the drama that everybody else created and we hadn’t even met each other.”

Social networking

Monica: “Some things just don’t need a response. The truth don’t need support. I really don’t care what’s being said. I talk about what’s real to me.”

Check out Moesha and Mo on VH1′s ‘Big Morning Buzz’ below.

Brandy and Monica at Clive Davis’ 2011 Pre-Grammy Party

Insiders say that in light of Our Fair Lady Nippy’s death Bobby Brown sees potential to make money off writing a book because there’s peak interest right now.

Dionne, hold my mule. And $20 sack.

“He’s not going to address anything that will cast him in a negative light,” a source told E! Online. “And that’s why people, I don’t think, will buy the book. They’re going to see that it will most likely be completely self-serving.” The source continued, “What great revelations is he going to have in this book?”

“Back in 2008, the interest in a book on Whitney Houston wasn’t that great. Whitney had fallen off the radar back then but now, following her tragic death, the market has changed. Now is the time for a book that details an honest look into the life of Whitney,” the source added.

A rep for Brown declined to offer further details, telling Entertainment Weekly, “We do not comment on gossip and rumor.”

I am casting all of my burdens inside Cousin Dionne’s nostrils. The only thing that has to do with Bobby and Whitney’s relationship I want to hear more details on is the removal process of the doodie bubble — that’s it!

Many of your cousins only recognize supermodel Beverly Johnson for her collection of premium wigs. That alone deserves a dozen Lil’ Mama struggle faces.

But hey, according to C+D’s demographic information you’re most likely one of the smarter individuals in the family. I know its you they turn to when the time arrives to draft up an obituary or resume. Understand one thing: Its a thankless job that is far from being over with. Hold on to Beysus Christ’s unchanging hand.

With Johnson’s new reality series set to debut on OWN in the weeks to come (March 31st at 10 PM), put their ignorant asses up on game early by sharing this post — today.

Save the rest of us who happen to be their Facebook friends and drop knowledge. I don’t need their “Damn, when Ima get my own reality show” comments anywhere near my feed during the premiere because I am liable to write something slick.

Watch an extended trailer for ‘Beverly’s Full House’ inside.

Clutch — Supermodel Beverly Johnson will join Tyra and Heidi in the ranks of models turned reality stars with Beverly’s Full House, which will focus more on “Beverly Johnson the family-oriented businesswoman” than on “Beverly Johnson the model.” Her daughter Anansa, a plus-sized model married to a former NFL player with a brand new baby, is moving into Beverly’s huge estate with her new family. Of course all of the space in the world never seems like enough in those situations, so drama is right around the corner. It sounds like this show will not include all of the cussin’, fussin’, and carryin’ on that we’ve become accustomed to in reality television; not only is Beverly Johnson too old for such nonsense at 59, the presence of a newborn and the Oprah seal of approval likely mean we’re in for good wholesome family fare.