Let the record show that I’m not saying that I will never wake up inside of a white man. Who knows what a long night of downing corn liquor and a Bedroom Kandi strap-on could lead to. I’m just saying that man will never be Perez Hilton.
Your booty hole is more than safe around me, sir.
Representing the great state of California in the 2014 Miss Internet Troll of The Universe pageant, the celebrity blogger provoked the wrath of the softer side of Negro Twitter after declaring that “Inside every gay man is a fierce black woman!”
“I said ‘Look boy, I ain’t for that fuck shit so fuck this.’” — Andre 3000, “Two Dope Boyz (In A Cadillac)
When confronted with the fact that black women are neither cute accessories whose identities white people are free to take on and off at will, NOR homogeneous sassy ghosts whose sole function in life is to inhabit the shells of gay men and make them outrageous, Hilton has been predictably shitty—offering up such defensive classics as, “I AM genuinely hurt/saddened. Go back to your superiority complex and overreacting,” “I didn’t attack. They did,” “The whole overreaction has really bummed me out. ,” “I only apologize in life if it’s with sincerity. I’m not sorry,” “I’m not racist,” “They should probably just ignore me and/or stop reading my tweets then,” AND, ahem, “Some present logical arguments, but then Hitler attempted to justify the holocaust too.” HEY. FUCKFACE. GO HOME.