News Break: Woman Assaults Grocery Store Employee With Two ‘Special Cut Filets’

slyman News Break: Woman Assaults Grocery Store Employee With Two Special Cut Filets

Before you part your sweet lips to make a slick remark within earshot of your intended target on the train to work this morning, take the following news story into account.

Earlier this month, an Ohio woman was arrested for assault after she allegedly hurled “two special cut filets” at a grocery store employee for allegedly making a rude comment about her husband’s weight.

Gracious people of Crunkland, I invite you to examine her mug shot. Not a single fuck was given that day.

Frances Slyman, 44, told cops that after placing her order, 64-year-old grocery employee Alzbeta Barath (whose name sounds like that of a villain in a Sylvester Stallone movie), made a derogatory comment about her husband’s weight, according to The Smoking Gun.

Fueled by the chorus of Lil Scrappy’s “Head Bussa” playing at an obscene volume inside her mind, vanilla and chaomille-infused OG Bobby Johnson acted in the same manner of any real goon left in her position — she removed the cellophane wrap from the steaks and threw them at Barath, striking her in the eye and on the shoulder.

Barath denied making the comment, and a witness told police that she did not hear Barath say anything to Slyman or her husband.

Officers arrested Slyman and charged her with assault. She was later released from jail. Barath reportedly declined medical treatment for the meat attack.