A man from the great state of Florida is facing domestic battery charges after police say he smeared shit on his girlfriend’s back during a drunken fight. Foreplay for make-up sex?
Jacob Kuhn, 32, was arrested last weekend in Brooksville after he and his live-in girlfriend were knocking back drinks in their apartment when things turned super ugly.
His girlfriend told investigators an argument between the couple eventually became physical, and that’s when Kuhn pulled out all the fuckboy stops and resorted to smearing Mother Nature’s chocolate Yule log on her back.
Police say Kuhn initially fled from the scene (did he wash his hands first?) but later returned where he was arrested and charged with domestic battery. He is being held at the Hernando County Jail without bond, reports ABC Action News.
The couple’s Facebook profiles show they have been together since September 2012 and live with as many as six children.
No word where your boy obtained the poo poo platter or who is the proud owner. Cue up “The Twilight Zone” intro.