Coolio was arrested on April Fools’ Day after he got into a heated argument with the mother of his son, Anabella Chatman, over another chick he brought to the house they share. I plead the blood of Jesus over his hair follicles and decision making skills.
During the dust-up, Anabella’s face made a slide, slide, slippity slide into his closed fist. Okay, I did everything in my power but I couldn’t write this post without the inclusion of at least one of his illustrious song lyrics. I apologize in advance if it was offensive, but I was unable to escape the lure of the moment. Don’t Rick Ross me, bro! Things like this happen when you are a actively defending your gold medal in the Mama, I Ain’t Never Going To Ever Be Shit Am I? Olympics. But I digress.
According to a police report, the Baby Don’t Be Bald spokesman hauled ass after the incident with son in tow and the other woman. Anabella says Coolio struck her with his car as he fled the scene. Not one of those light taps you give a shopping cart while pulling into a parking space because you are too lazy to get out the car to move it. Oh no, people. Police say she had tire marks on her legs.
He was charged with a misdemeanor count of battery constituting domestic violence. And you thought “Gangster’s Paradise” was a fluke.
The real stories here are that someone willingly laid their body down to let Coolio lick them up and down until they said stop — and he miraculously has current options in vagina available. What am I doing wrong with my life? Peep his mug shot below.