The Illest Woman In Taiwan Divorces Husband Over Small Penis

A 52-year-old woman was recently granted a divorce from her husband of four years because his penis, which reportedly measured in at a dreadful 5 centimeters, was just too damn small for her to have and to hold until one of them kicked the bucket.

According to Apple Daily (via The Huffington Post), the illest woman in Taiwan discovered the 55-year-old man wasn’t packing during their first night together as a married couple. After arguing the entire night, she left his ass the next day.

Pussy nigga the next time you see me don’t speak, indeed.

The former wife claims the man not only as a microphallus (vocabulary word of the day alert) but that his impotency made him unable to fulfill his responsibility as a husband — making her bust a nut.

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A show of hands for all those who would like to meet up with sister girl for drinks and appetizers at Applebee’s, please.

Listen, any time I can work a reference to a 90′s booty bass song — let alone one about small dicks — into a blog post my soul hits a Mahalia Jackson high note. Ratchets, press play and receive your entire life.

“See ya’ll need to know this, that we’ll straight up go tell your business. So if you’re going to come you better come with it. If you ain’t hanging, just put your tongue in it.” They don’t hear though, Tionne.