People You Should Be Paying Homage To: Papa Peachez

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the gays of our lives.

On Wednesday night’s episode of ‘American Idol’ viewers were introduced to the self-described self-described “big black woman trapped in a little boy’s body” glory that is Papa Peachez. If your day didn’t just get instantly better, I have absolutely dick to offer you from here on out.

The Jackson, Mississippi homegrown bombshell told ‘Idol’ biggest fan came from judge Nicki Minaj. “I think that you are a superstar,” she told the 19-year-old zestlemen. “I loved the song, loved that you wrote it, loved that it was something that only Papa Peachez could sing.”

The other judges weren’t as easily taken with Papa P, with Randy Jackson and Keith Urban passing on him and Mariah Carey granting him an unenthusiastic “small yes.” The same unenthusiastic “small yes” we gave her single “Triumphant” last year.

Pleasure Peachez ended up being the day’s tiebreaker vote, but after Onigga pleaded his case to Randy he was sent to Hollywood!