From The C+D Vault: Letters From Khia’s Advice Column In Hood Magazine

Twitter, keeping Khia relevant through stunts since 2006.

Over the weekend the uncouth loud mouth took to her account [@QueenKhia] to mock Lil’ Kim for carving her face like a honey baked ham during the holidays.

She also seized the opportunity to blast Kimmy Blanco for using ghostwriters before patting herself on the back for slanging copies of her mixtapes out the back of her trunk. Whatever makes you feel good, sis.

Khia Shamone wasn’t always so critical sans actual merit. In fact, around the time C+D started to take off back in 2007 she had her own advice column in Hood Magazine. Think “Dear Abby” for people with prior convictions.

===

Khia, help me I been with this girl faithfully for 7 months and she havent let me glance at the pussy. I havent felt no titties or nothing what am I doing wrong. Shes not a virgin she got two girls. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. The hardest part is she always wearing short shit, and khia she got a big gurilla ass. Please help me!

- Mike (Houston, TX)

Khia’s response:

What’s really Hood Mike? This sounds like some Jerry Springer shit, 7 months without even a glance at the pussy what is that about, you sure she’s not a man? I know you said she has two kids but damn are they her’s? You know there’s a lot of punks out here getting ass shots and tittie jobs but for real you say you ain’t feel no ass, titties or nothing. What is she saying about this because something in the milk ain’t clean.

What is she telling you when you try and get some, damn I’m lost for words. Well all I can say is if you really care about her talk to her and find out what’s really going on and why she’s holding back. Tell her your needs as a man and let her know how you feel cause shit she’s going to have to drop them panties sooner or later and I hope she ain’t hiding a dick under there. Shit maybe she’s waiting for marriage this time you say she has two kids already, maybe she wants to do it right this time and if so you better start shopping for a ring or move…Next!

===

Hey Khia,

My name is Monica and I’m currently living in GA. My husband and I are swingers. Yes swingers. Please don’t judge us on that because I really need your advice on something. Ok, my hubby and I have lots of great sex with each other but he usually doesn’t make a lot of noises like moaning until he cums at the end. Well, us being swingers have never bothered me until now. This couple that we have been seeing are real cool and everything but when he’s inside of her, he’s moaning really loud the whole time, and it really bothers me. What should I do?

– Monica

Khia’s response:

What’s really hood Monica,

Let me start off by saying that I never judge, only God can judge. I’m only here to keep it real. As for my advice, you chose to open up Pandora’s box and now its back to bite you in the ass. Plain and simple, your husband is tired of your pussy and you ain’t really excited about him either. The both of ya’ll enjoy fucking other people so ya’ll really can’t be enjoying each other too much. So fuck on if that’s what makes you happy.

Don’t go start catching feelings now, let’s be real. New is always better than old pussy. The new pussy makes him moan and your pussy makes him want to fuck somebody else. I’m sure he enjoys watching other men long dick you but the moaning and excitement been long gone, so get over it. You’re a swinger for crying out loud. Find you a new dick to swing on. I got an idea, how about this. Let her fuck you so you can see what all the moaning is about. He fucks her, she sucks you, and everybody’s happy. Ya’ll so nasty!