Performing at the opening of the FIFA World Cup Kick-off Celebration Concert in South Africa on Thursday, Alicia Keys was able to give Mashonda another heart attack by showing off her ever-growing baby bump. Playing her piano for freedom, Ms. New Beatz  performed a few songs from her catalog.

Anyway, let me wrap this up. I can only do so many witty quips about Mashonda before I bore us into a 7-year coma.