Today two queens are vying to rule Oprah nation. There’s the reigning monarch herself and the contender, Kitty Kelley, whose tattle-tale tome “Oprah: A Biography” just hit bookstore shelves.

Oprah keeps her crown. Kelley reveals little in 445 pages. But she does have one bit of pertinent info that will mess with Oprah’s mind. Kelley claims to know who Oprah’s biological father is while the talk show diva doesn’t.

Oprah’s elderly cousin, the irascible Katharine Carr Esters, tells the author who the daddy is, but then swears her to secrecy until the time when Oprah’s mother, Vernita Lee, chooses to inform her daughter.

The cranky cousin hilariously adds “you’ll know when that happens because Oprah will probably have a show on Finding Your Real Father. As I said, the girl wastes nothing.”

Vernon Winfrey, the man who didn’t spare the rod raising Oprah for many years, has already declared that he wasn’t the sire.

As for the anticipated disclosure that Oprah and her best friend, Gayle King, share a love that dare not speak it’s name, at least in Oprahland, Kelley retreats. She quotes others, such as Erica Jong and Rosie O’Donnell, speculating that Oprah is gay, but concludes that Oprah is “asexual.” (source, source)