Archive for April, 2010

The Beaver Is Seething

As if he needed another reason to want to give up and join the Coco Dorm dick thrusting team, Chris Brown lost his cool yesterday during an interview on Q94 WRVQ.

chris mic The Beaver Is SeethingKash said: “Chris Brown was going to come in today to do an interview to promote his concert . . . But before we could even get into the interview, homeboy starts yelling at me, wondering why we don’t play his records.

“I said, ‘Mr Chris Brown… you just don’t have any hits and that’s just the truth. You don’t have any hits right now’. And… from there the whole interview just goes south.”

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO HERE

Brown was then heard telling the DJ: “All I’m saying is that you don’t play my shit. What number is [my song] at? It don’t matter. Why am I even doing this interview? I ain’t doing this shit.”

After being accused of editing the interview to make it sound worse than it really was, Kash wrote on his Twitter page: “For the record, my interview with Chris Brown was posted with the entire amount of audio I got minus dead air, I tightened it up for radio play.

“Apparently blogs are thinking I edited it to make homeboy look like a douche, but no editing can create that level of douche-bagery.” (source)

The beaver that could once do no wrong later apologized to his fans on Twitter.

Speeding Into The Afterlife

motor1 Speeding Into The Afterlife

Hello Moto.

The same funeral home responsible for Angel Pantoja Medina’s gangsta lean into heaven’s ghetto made headlines once again this week when pictures and video of  David Morales Colón’s public wake were made public.

At least he got to his final destination in style. Tip me over and pour me out.

If you thought you’d previously seen it all, well, you’re wrong. Case in point: David Morales Colón, a 22-year-old Puerto Rican man who was shot to death last Thursday, and whose wake is now making headlines here in the United States mainland. How come? Well, suffice it to say that the funeral directors at Marin Funeral Home in San Juan’s Hato Rey neighborhood have a flair for the unorthodox. For example, in 2008, they embalmed another young shooting victim and displayed his body standing up for the duration of a multi-day wake.

Back to the present: Yesterday and today, callers who stopped to pay their final respects to the late Mr. Colón got a bit of a surprise. Instead of the traditional presentation of the body in a casket, Mr. Colón’s corpse, dressed in casual duds and sunglasses, was instead posed in a very lifelike position atop his Repsol-liveried Honda CBR600 F4. According to Puerto Rico’s Primera Hora newspaper, the motorcycle was given to the victim by his uncle, and upon Mr. Colón’s untimely demise, family members delivered the bike to the funeral home specifically for this unusual wake.

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]

reh1 Speeding Into The Afterlife reh1 Speeding Into The Afterlife reh1 Speeding Into The Afterlife reh1 Speeding Into The Afterlife reh1 Speeding Into The Afterlife

Friday Fuckery: YouTube Clip of the Week

What happens inside the Coco Dorm should stay inside the Coco Dorm. iQuit.

Back & Fourth: Polow Da Don Is Swole — No Really, He Is Retaining All Kinds of Fluid.

polow juice 1 Back & Fourth: Polow Da Don Is Swole    No Really, He Is Retaining All Kinds of Fluid.

Polow Picture Via Pop Culture Fix

Fresh: The King of the White Girls fell the fuck off.

Youngsinick: He’s even fatter than he was the last time I saw him out in LA. Damn, now I feel bad about eating that Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.

Fresh: D’Angelo Diet. This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

Youngsinick: Or wheeze for air as their heart gives out. Sometimes the biggest piece of chicken should be left for the skinny bitch.

Fresh: And there you have it.

Youngsinick: Why does he look like Pumba from The Lion King?

Fresh: His bottom row of teeth distracting me from noticing that, but I can see it.

Youngsinick: Well, since my bottom row teeth  are about as straight as my sexuality, I can’t go too hard on him. However, I have student loans. He doesn’t. He needs to rewind that grill back.

Fresh: Its a sad day at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Youngsinick: You would think one of those white girls would put him on the coke diet. Where is Plies to make sense of this? It’s gimme that Becky, not that pork chop.

Continue Reading »

Spotted: Trina Shopping At Intermix In Miami

trina miami Spotted: Trina Shopping At Intermix In Miami

Chili cheese flavored corn chips over everything. That’s her attitude.

I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with the statement “My whole lifestyle is like Coming To America” and decline providing colorful commentary about Katrina LaVerne shopping at Intermix in Miami.

But I will say this.

Be sure to pre-order Amazin’ for your own free beauty supply store quality lipgloss.

Continue Reading »

Celebrity Advice From Kid Fury

Wonder Twins powers, activate!

Armed with a bottle of Clorox bleach and a prayer list that stretches from Jerusalem all the way to the Jersey Shore, fuckery pundit Kid Fury dishes out advice to a couple of tragic souls in his latest video. Watch and observe.

SUBSCRIBE TO FURY TV

Quick Quotes: Pam Grier’s Cocaine Vagina

In Pam Grier’s new memoir Foxy: My Life In Three Acts the OG Foxy Brown shares details about an nostril eye opening visit to the doctor’s office during her love affair with Richard Pryor

foxy pam Quick Quotes: Pam Griers Cocaine Vagina He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”

“No,” I said, astonished.

“Well, it’s really dangerous,” he went on. “Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?”

“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

“Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.”

The doctor then quizzed Grier on if her mouth went numb while performing oral sex on Pryor (which she claims it did) before explaining the Novocaine-like  effects of cocaine use.

Exit. Stage. Left.

Buzz Notes: The Truth Behind Natina Reed’s Arrest

natina1 Buzz Notes: The Truth Behind Natina Reeds ArrestThere are  too many natural hair care blogs dedicated to Women of Color for anybody’s head to be looking like this, but that’s another blog entry.

The story behind this lovely mugshot  and potential Tyler Perry come-to-Jesus stage play character has been twisted.

Natina Reed, one third of the Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes discovered R&B trio Blaque, was popped on April 13 in Dekalb County, Georgia for violating the open container laws and disorderly conduct. How dreadful. After posting a $420 cash bond the she was released the following day.

To add insult to injury, there is a MediaTakeOut-esque pseudo arrest report floating around the internet that has been photoshopped and screwed to show the arrest was for prostitution and cocaine possession.

Sandra Rose reports:

A gossip blog, which shall remain nameless, decided to use this former celebrity’s unfortunate situation to gain a few hits by doctoring the original arrest report to show that Reed had been arrested for drug possession and prostitution.

Those charges are patently false.

When Reed’s former band member Brandy Harris was reached for a comment, she expressed surprise at the fake charges.

Harris said she was “shocked” to hear that a blog Photoshopped Reed’s police report to include charges that were not on the original arrest report. She said her thoughts and Prayers go out to Natina because “now [the false charges are] out there on the Internet.”

Its a shame really. The only thing that should have been touched by a photoshop angel went neglected. I’ll let you figure that one out.

Open Air: Sandra Bullock’s Adoption Gets A Side-Eye of Epic Proportions

sandra Open Air: Sandra Bullocks Adoption Gets A Side Eye of Epic Proportions

The big news here isn’t Sandra Bullock filing for divorce from Vanilla Gorilla but the shade she is being served by her Little Chocolatier.

“He’s just perfect, I can’t even describe him any other way,” Bullock reveals exclusively in the new issue of PEOPLE, announcing that she is the proud mother of Louis Bardo Bullock, a 3½-month-old boy, born in New Orleans. “It’s like he’s always been a part of our lives.”

Bullock, 45, and husband Jesse James, 41, began the adoption process four years ago and brought Louis home in January but decided to keep the news to themselves until after the Oscars. Their close friends and family – including James’s children Sunny, 6, Jesse Jr., 12, and Chandler, 15 – were essential in keeping the adoption a secret. (People)

With an album scheduled to drop next week, Trina may want to go snatch up a beybeh from the 9th Ward so she can make a few publicity rounds. She did say she was considering adopting a child from Haiti a few months back, right?

Buzz Notes: Don’t Be Cruel! Bobby Brown Is Not Dead.

bobbay Buzz Notes: Dont Be Cruel! Bobby Brown Is Not Dead.

Bobby Brown performing with Heads of State earlier this week

Sinbad. Kel Mitchell. Jaleel White. And now Robert Barisford Brown.

Bobby Brown’s rep has rubbished rumours he’s died.

Online reports on Twitter claimed the singer had passed away from lung cancer at the age of 41.

But Bobby’s spokesperson insists that the rapper is still alive and well.

The dad-of-five is reported to have been on tour with his band Heads Of State, who are due to play the 2010 Funk Fest in Jacksonville Florida on 7 May. (source)

Next Page »