When James Brown passed away in 2006 it took about four score and seven years for him to be laid to rest. No, seriously. We had a countdown clock and everything up. You ain’t gotta believe me, go ask my mama nem.

So when rumors that him illegitimate daughter LaRhonda Pettit reportedly said his body was jacked on the eve of an autopsy last week it was a cold day on the night train.

Charlie Reid, of the of the C.A. Reid Funeral Home in Augusta, Georgia, said that the Brown’s body is still entombed at a mausoleum at the home of one of his daughters in South Carolina. “There’s no truth to that,” Reid told the Augusta Chronicle. “It would have had to have gone through us. We would have been contacted if that happened.”

Reid continued to explain that moving Brown’s body “would be a criminal offense,” and “if this was the case, she would need to talk to police.” [continue]

LaRhonda has long been suspicious that the listed cause of Brown’s death, pneumonia, is wrong and said that the body was stolen so that an autopsy to prove the cause of death couldn’t be performed but Brown’s other daughters say that the body is at the crypt in South Carolina.

Go fucking figure. For all we know JB is still in a broom closet somewhere in Macon, Georgia leaning on boxes of Mean Green. Where is Tomie Rae to make sense of this?!