Months after introducing her ass to the American Music Awards stage Jennifer Lopez has parted ways with her longtime label, Sony’s Epic Records. Try to keep your composure, there are small children around.

Justin: The internet is so messy, sad, and unpredictable just like Jennifer’s music career.

Fresh: Just when the world was gearing up for her triumphant return, this happens.

Justin: Her triumphant fail. Natalie’s chin has a better chance of garnering a record deal than J. Lo.

Fresh: She wore that catsuit on New Year’s Eve for nothing.

Justin: You talking about that catsuit that just sat up on her like Lil Kim’s wigs, just non existent and not serving a purpose?

Fresh: Yup, that one. Those twins better start looking for work soon.

Justin: They don’t have to find work that soon… Marc Anthony still makes money as the face of Anorexia Anonymous.

Fresh: Maybe she can fill in for Cheuy on Chelsea Lately when he goes on vacation. Doubt anybody would notice the difference.

Justin: She was looking kinda squat on the AMAs.

Fresh: Celebrity DJing is calling.

Justin: LOL, Solange sure was able to pay her bills on time.