I can’t begin to keep up with all of the mess surrounding Tiger Woods right now so I am depending on you all to keep me abreast [and thigh] on the latest. What I do know is that every time my RSS feeder refreshes another mistress has dropped out of the sky and is now selling her story. Gone are the days when hoes would never kiss and tell.

If you have had a sexual encounter with Mr. Woods and would like to share your tales of bedroom bedlam with Crunkland in exchange for a $25 Applebee’s gift card hit me up! In the meanwhile listen to this sad shit right here.

On Nov. 24 — the day before reports of his alleged infidelity first surfaced — Tiger Woods, 33, phoned his off-and-on girlfriend, 24 year-old Los Angeles cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, and left a message in which he begged her to change her voicemail greeting.

“Hey, it’s Tiger,” he says in the voicemail, obtained by Usmagazine.com (listen above). “I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”