Never mind the Microsoft Word 95 template certificate, Dollar General document frame, and Geraldo’s presence. Chew on this.

Rev. Al Sharpton honored mixtape messiah [he is still hustlin' his record label] Joe Jackson with an award at the National Action Network in the Seventh Layer of Hell Harlem Saturday.

Despite Michael Jackson’s past descriptions of his father as abusive, Sharpton heaped praise upon Papa Joe’s parenting skills, saying, “The arrogance of [people] attacking a man for being a stern father. I wish we had more stern fathers – then we wouldn’t be shooting each other up.” Joe said of his award: “This feels great. I feel like I’m someone very special.”

It’s still too early in the day for this shit.