Archive for July, 2009

Friday Fuckery: Introducing Bobby Rush

Just look at what landed in my inbox via Crunkland’s own Dr. What! Call Kim Zoliack, I think we’ve found her new Dallas Austin.

Now Fresh, if you gone post those old hoes cuttin up you gotta post my round Bobby Rush. They’re the fkn reason why he sings. Dude has a song called “G-String (and a Toothbrush)” and a song called “Night Fishin.” I dare not mention he has a song called “I’m Tired of That Who Said Mess.” He exists because they exist without him, there would be no him. In the words of The Last Mr Biggs, chuuuch. He most definitely is assisting the devil.

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Friday Fuckery: Steven Tyler Nails The Black Girl In The Club Pose

st Friday Fuckery: Steven Tyler Nails The Black Girl In The Club Pose

Today’s commercial break is being brought to you by good pussy and Georgia’s no sales tax weekend. I will be hitting the racks later in hopes of copping that Coogi expandable binder I have had my wonky eye on. Wish me luck on my hood arithmetic and pray for my haters!

If Steven Tyler’s hands on your knees, hands on your knees game were the least bit more proper he might need to be tested for steroids and traces of Blue Magic hair grease. He looks like the MVP with that throwback dress on Webbie rhymed about on “Bad Bitch.” Not too sure if he knows how to cook neck bones, though.

Tell the truth and shame the Devil, how many times have you been guilty of striking the same tragic pose in the club while holding your mixed drink of choice? No need to front about it either. You know I enforce a strict policy on Fridays about that shit.

Quick Flicks: Ludacris And Karma At Mr. Chow’s

luda karma Quick Flicks: Ludacris And Karma At Mr. Chows

Father and daughter time is very important and precious. It allows young girls to have sense of belonging and have a positive view on males and what is to be expected from a male whose in her life. [ 'Cause we all know how females with daddy issues turn out. Hi, Karrine. - - Fresh] Ludacris and his daughter Karma was seen exiting Mr. Chow’s in Los Angeles. After the fuckery from last night, this is a very welcoming post. Thumbs up to Mr. Chris Bridges.

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Friday Fuckery: Granny Makes That Booty Talk For The Police

Never mind the absence of teeth in this post.

Ladies and zestlemen have been doing all types of hoe shit to get out of tickets since the invention of the automobile but this niggatry takes the ice cream and cake. Cecily Tyson, assemble your posse of club rats. You just got your Poligrip blown up DOA style. Drive around to the first window to get your life, please.

You get down low, you hold it and squeeze it. Now you take a breathe. Hold your breath! Hold it! Now let it go! CHEW. THIS. ASS.

Style Jury: Rachel Roy At The Premiere Of ‘Julie & Julia’

rachel roy Style Jury: Rachel Roy At The Premiere Of Julie & Julia

Since filing for divorce from Chocolate Homer Simpson earlier this year Rachel Roy has been staying busy by spending time with her daughters, expanding her fashion line, and hitting the red carpet to smile awkwardly for the flashing lights. Someone doesn’t believe in optimizing their creole curry experience but I’ve come to expect that. Dig deep people!

Rachel paired a Pastor’s Appreciation Day approved jacket with a pair of ripped denim capris for the New York City premiere of  Julie & Julia, one of the most dreadful movies of the summer, on Thursday. Girl, I guess.

WHAT’S YOUR VERDICT?

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I’m Just Saying . . .

garden meeting2 1 Im Just Saying . . .

So, a Black Harvard professor sits down with a White racist cop at a table inside of the rose garden at the White House to discuss there problems over an icy cold mug of beer when . . .

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Eminem Issues A “Warning” To Mariah & Nick

cannons em Eminem Issues A Warning To Mariah & Nick

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He’s mad as hell. He lost all that damn weight, got that plastic surgery [we saw that XXL cover - - HELLO!], and you still talking reckless Mimi?

Last night, while all of the continental United States and some parts of Canada eyes were glued to the chaos that is Real Housewives of Atlanta, word leaked on Twitter [where else] that Eminem “went in” on Mariah and Nick. Hearing the track myself, I’m not surprised. He talks about the usually shit, blah blah blah I have the pictures, blah blah blah I have the phone messages, blah blah blah stop denying my dick. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m seriously tired of these two going after each other. How many dis-tracks are they going to record? They fight worst than Sheree and Margeaux Taylor [aka Tameka] over who has the biggest dick in Atlanta. Sigh, perception is everything folks, everything.

Quick Flicks: Monica + Mo’Nique Promote Their New BET Shows

MOMO Quick Flicks: Monica + MoNique Promote Their New BET Shows

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Mo’nique [aka Hairy Legs] and Monica were both seen at the BET 2009 Summer TCA Press Tour promoting their upcoming shows that is set to premiere in the fall.

Monica’s show, entitled Monica [say it like you mean it kids!] is expected to hit airwaves on October 27th. The show is going to follow Monica as she, works on her fifth album, launches a new clothing line and tackles the hardest job of all – full-time mother of two young sons. My mom did it, and you don’t see her bragging about it. Such arrogance!

Mo’nique’s show, entitled The Mo’nique Show, is going to be in a talk-show format, featuring A-List [come on BET, A-List?] celebrities and musical performances. It is touted to be a centerpiece of BET late-night programming starting on October 5th.

I see BET is trying to become a jack-of-all-trades, but it seems like they are doing too much at one time. Frankie and Neffe, Wendell Williams, Hairy Legs, Monica, Wilbur and Toya, and all that crap we negroes love to gobble up. I hope that the channel feed doesn’t self-destruct from all that fuckery.

Events: Monique & Monica Promote Their New BET Projects

Buzz Notes: Did Nas Knocks Up Another Chick? Plus Flicks From Kelis & Knight’s Coffee Run

kelis nas Buzz Notes: Did Nas Knocks Up Another Chick? Plus Flicks From Kelis & Knights Coffee Run

NAS A FATHER FOR THE THIRD TIME?

Nasir might have been on to something when he said that he was the number one baby father on “You Won’t See Me Tonight” although Lil’ Wang and Kandi’s fiance are giving him a run for his money. According to the Book of Gossiping Bitches young Knight may have a new sibling to share glowsticks and hood scriptures with soon. For the sake of his savings account I hope that the chitter chatter of the pitter patter of another set of little feet is fiction.

KELIS OUT AND ABOUT WITH KNIGHT

Joy Daily snapped pictures of Kelis pushing Knight in his stroller outside of a NYC coffee shop earlier this week. I am from the old school and don’t believe in mother nor newborn going out in the public days after birth but I ‘m not apart of the mommy society so I will just look on in silence. I’m giving a fierce side-eye, though. The proud mother has been gushing over her “little marshmallow” on her Twitter page since his birth. Check out the pictures below!

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