Archive for June, 2009

WHY WON’T MO’NIQUE LET HERSELF BE GREAT?!

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

mo1 WHY WONT MONIQUE LET HERSELF BE GREAT?!

Mo’Nique performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City as apart of the Soul Summer series last week. No matter how much want to give my Team Chunk sister credit for wanting to trim away the fat I will never be able to do so because she won’t allow herself to be great. I don’t know why she refuses to take of that shit but I guess it’s just one of those things in life that isn’t going to change any time soon.

You will be able to catch her along with her wolf pussy legs nightly on her hour long talk and variety show on BET this fall. Expect plenty of  jokes about why skinny women are evil and assorted niggatry.

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Seriously?!, Team Chunk Stand The Fuck Up, We Can't Be Friends |
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Your Two Cents Required: Parental Advisory

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

Child\'s Play

Wheelchair Jimmy is ready for his close up!

Watching Lil’ Wayne rap about filet mignoning New New and Nivea’s pussies and harmonizing about fucking every girl in the world while his adolescent daughter bopped around stage was one of the most devastating moments from the this year’s EBT Awards. I wanted Don Cornelius to come back out on stage and give Young Money a lashing about the good ol’ days but that means the show would still be airing live right now.

Sources tell Sandra Rose that the reason for Weezy’s daughter Reginae was on stage was because she was unable to accompany her pops on stage while he accepted the award for Fucking The Most Random Women Ever To Appear On A Cover of Sister 2 Sister [maybe next year Soullow] and wanted to make it up to the youngin. Do you think Lil’ Wayne did the right thing as a parent?

And Jesus Wept, Come And Get Your Cousins Please, Random Gathering of Negroids, We Do This For The Hood, What's A Goon To A Goblin? |
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I’m Just Saying . . .

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

Flavor Man

You know how there is always at least one junkie [past or present] relative who breaks your heart when they go ape shit at the funeral because they just can’t deal? Flavor Flav would be him. He talked to the media about the passing of Michael Jackson earlier this week after not being allowed to enter the estate on Thursday. Bless his heart if its coming from a genuine place.

“Music has lost a king, music has lost an icon, music has lost a friend,” he said, his eyes welling up with tears. “It’s unbelievable, but we don’t have any choice but to believe it.”

He said Jackson was the muse for music that’s being created today.

“God needed an extra angel, so he came and got Michael to work for him,” Flav said.

He said Jermaine Jackson, Michael Jackson’s brother, took him to his first black rodeo.

How Dreadful, It's Cold In These Parking Lots |
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Vibe Magazine Shuts Down

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

DOA

I can’t let Tameka be great at a moment like this!

Light up a spliff and break out the Boone’s Farm. The magazine that many of us all loved and hated at times is a wrap like Reynold’s. As a kid [cue the violins please] Vibe was like my Rolling Stone, so excuse me if I have a Day 26 dramatic cunt moment before the end of the day. Life is just not fair right now.

Vibe, one of the nation’s leading popular music magazines, is closing immediately, a spokeswoman said Tuesday.

Word was broken early this afternoon by the Web site dailyfinance.com and spread to other music and media news sites. The spokeswoman, Tracy Nguyen, said the Vibe staff would be formally notified in a meeting at 2 p.m. She said she did not know how many people would be laid off as a result of the closure.

Vibe’s closure leaves just one large-circulation magazine, The Source, focusing on hip-hop and R&B. The Source has had its own troubles, going through a bankruptcy and emerging under new ownership last year. A rock-focused magazine, Blender, folded last year.

The sad news sparked a conversation about memorable moments and covers from the magazine. Step up to the podium and give your testimony! I am here to dab your forehead with my Kerney Thomas red blood of Jesus handkerchief if you my services

This Can't Be Life |
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Tight Like Poligrip

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

No.

I’ve tried not to categorize La La Vasquez under the whores for propaganda label but she is trying my patience. I’m not going to blame Kim for keeping an interchangeable chocolate sidekick by her side at all times, I’m going to blame Twitter. Every since La La accepted her first thousand followers all types of shit has been happening from getting kicked out of a playoff game to deciding to putting her own remix on The Ventura.

Girl, I guess. I am ultimately not here to judge though. I would be doing all types of shit too to keep my mind off the fact that I have been engaged for all this time with no wedding date in sight.

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Until You Do Right By Me . . . ., Way To Drum Up Publicitiy, You Embarrass Me. You Embarrass Yourself. |

Norwood Is Not With That Shit

Posted by Fresh on June 30, 2009

If it wasn’t for my unabashed love and devotion to spreading the goodness of Norwood Young to the masses I wouldn’t even bother assisting Karrine in her life mission to whore for propaganda and profit. We have already establish the fact that she is selling ass and taking names. To continue to beat a dead horse would be a waste of energy and I’m fresh out of iron pills.

The fact that Norwood is lending his celebrity [ahem!] to this kitchen ass project that shows the flip side of the coin is major and should be acknowledged. I’m just doing my job.

The Bitch Said What?, Whores For Propaganda, Why Isn't CNN Covering This? |

Quick Flicks: Mariah Carey Butches It Up on the set of “Obsessed”

Posted by Fresh on June 29, 2009

mimi.thumbnail Quick Flicks: Mariah Carey Butches It Up on the set of Obsessed

Mrs. Nick Cannon made good use out of a bag of clothing belonging to Da Brat [hold your head lil' daddy] that would have otherwise continue to collect dust for her new video. Marshall Mathers, this bud’s for you.

Mariah will always be that crazy bitch pushing the ice cream cart on TRL  while rambling about butterflies, Hello Kitty stickers, and unicorns and shit to me. However, I will be say that she tries hard to make people give a damn about her. So people, do you give a damn?

Please keep in mind that she said “these chickens is ash and I’m lotion” way before the creative creole pair of Beyonce and Cousin Angie B! penned “Check On It.”

Good Luck With That, I Blame Nick Cannon, So This Is How We're Trying To Remain Relevant |
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She’s Known As Solace Knowles Today

Posted by Fresh on June 29, 2009

32029PCN LGBT07 Shes Known As Solace Knowles Today

Leave it to Solange to provide some stability around this muthafucka while the rest of the universe is in shambles. Shambles I tell ya! Basement Baby decided to say fuck the niggatry industry [her words not mine] and served the kids at San Fransisco’s Pride Festival instead while wearing an outfit that would make any certified glowstick carrier elated.

Kid Creole, we speak your name.

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Girl Hand Me Some Glowsticks!, I Can Do All Things Through Yaki That Strengthens Me, I'm So Different, No Hate Today |

Tweets Is Watching: Joe Jackson Edition

Posted by Fresh on June 29, 2009

Joe Jackson

Joe Jackson got his hater blockas on and for good reason.

He raised eyebrows Celebrity Seaborn style after promoting his record label on the red carpet at the *** awards live on CNN and before a press conference outside of his Encino, California home earlier today. Here’s what a few people had to say in response to my question about Papa Joe.

@robo3k he’s on his grind to make his record label the next big thing.

@HarleyzWorld Joe is always gonna be Joe, “I’m bout dis money no need 2 pretend so, holla @ me when u ready 2 spend.” (Via foxxy brown) lol

@iStayStylinOnU ole raggedy cheshire cat lookin mug skinnin and grinnin at the awards after his son died…shameful! hasnt he stole enuf shine?!

@musicman128 What do I think of him? *Pulls a Mariah when asked of J.Lo* “Neva heard of him”….

@DLuxe I think people need to stop acting shocked @ Joe. He only saw MJ as a commodity in life, why would it change in death?

@hell2danaw real bad real bad JOE Jackson!

@micahandthewolf he’s mad niggerish, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone.

@peachy0922 I think joe jackson is coping in a different way. promoting his record label was wrong but he’s doing nothing wrong

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ON TWITTER

Thanks For Breaking It Down For Us, Tweets Is Watching, Whores For Propaganda |

The Cream Doesn’t Always Rise To The Top

Posted by Fresh on June 29, 2009

chow1 The Cream Doesnt Always Rise To The Top

Your cousins flocked to different spots in Los Angeles last night in a mission to suck all of the remaining life and dignity out of the city last night while fulfilling their quota for photo ops.

*** [its still too soon] held their Crème of the Crop post award show dinner at the always paparazzi friendly Mr. Chow’s. If I captioned your fam’s name wrong its because I know them but I don’t know them know them. Choweezy himself came out on a segway during the evening to make sure that there was enough guns and butter for Ving Rhames and to keep an eye out on Shenehneh and Wanda’s table.

Come And Get Your Cousins Please, I'm Just Here For The Publicity, Just Another Random Gathering of Negroids |

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