But first, Happy Birthday to Me! I would much rather spend today focusing strictly on fuckery so if you have anything you would like to see posted hit me up through the contact form or on Twitter!

Someone sent in a group picture of elementary school kids who were honored for random acts of kindness to our newspaper. The side eye is fierce here. Little Emily must’ve been trained by Keri Hilson. Co-workers say maybe she just has to use the bathroom, but I know a Sasha Fierce in training when I see one.

- – Kizzy’s Shift Manager