Bobby Brown attended Bill Bellamy’s [talk about a face from the milk carton] Las Vegas birthday party over the weekend in all his crack bloat glory. I am still clutching my pearls rosary beads that his child with girlfriend Alicia Etheridge doesn’t come into this world looking like Remy from Ratatouille. Maybe, just maybe a miracle will occur and her genes will cancel his out.

But don’t count on it.