The above picture is from an actual funeral and not the service mentioned in the story below, but still. Your auntie could have picked another wig to rock with. I’m not going to even start the Frankie approved body piercings.

WOMAN WITH BEER CAN IN HAND STARTS BRAWL AT WAKE

Sheriff’s deputies said a Texas woman started a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived with a beer can in her hand. The woman, 52, faces a third-degree domestic battery charges, as does another woman, 46, over the March 29 fight. Deputies said the first woman arrived at the Christies Chapel Church with a beer can in hand and that she refused to leave.

The first woman then allegedly grabbed a man by the face, leaving scratch marks on his lower right cheek and causing him to bleed. The man’s mother, then allegedly slapped the woman and kicked another woman in the chest.

A sheriff’s report claimed the woman with the beer became “passively aggressive” with deputies and said that “no backwood country cop” was going to take her to jail. [source]

WOMAN CALLS 911 OVER LACK OF SHRIMP IN FRIED RICE

A woman called 911 to report she didn’t get as much shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant.

Haltom City police on Tuesday released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher, “to get a police officer up here, what has to happen?”

The customer also says: “He didn’t even put extra shrimp in there.”

The upset customer had left the Fort Worth-area restaurant when an officer arrived Monday afternoon.

Restaurant workers say the woman had been denied a refund after leaving with her order, then returning to complain.

Cook June Lee says nothing was wrong with the meal, and that “some customers are happy. Some are not.” [source]

Thanks L/Spray!