What better than a depressing flick to jump start the day.

Not too many people think that J. Lo’s marriage to Marc Anthony is going to stand the test of time but for some odd reason I am actually rooting for her.

More than anything she reminds me of the home economics teacher from my high school who would come back each school year with a new last name after marrying a different rich pepaw. On the first day of school negroids would look at their schedules happy as hell to be in the classroom of a new teacher only to find out its her punk ass.

But I digress. Make it last forever, kids:

It always looked like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made beautiful music together – well, OK, maybe not beautiful music.

Alright, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony made horrible music together. And some genuinely terrible films. But at least they looked happy, and that’s what’s important. Except that they’re probably not happy, since they’ve both been seen without their wedding rings lately, sparking rumours of an impending divorce.

Apparently it’s all because Jennifer Lopez thinks Marc Anthony is too controlling – plus Marc is furious about that time he got sucked halfway up J-Lo’s bumhole when she bent over and created a giant vacuum.

Jennifer Lopez loves marriage. You can tell because all her films are about marriage. The Wedding Planner, Monster-In-Law, harrowing domestic abuse drama Enough – hopelessly romantic pro-marriage gigglefests each and every one.

But in case you’ve decided that you’ll never watch a Jennifer Lopez movie for fear that halfway through you’ll go mad, pull out your eyes and get led from the cinema by paramedics with a delighted look on your face, you’ll still know how much Jennifer Lopez loves getting married. This is because Jennifer Lopez gets married all the bloody time. [continue]