Beyonce has offered to bring her special brand of raw fucking emotion to President-elect Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony in January.

Let’s see, Eli Porter rapping over the ‘A Milli’ beat > Beyonce twitching her face on all of the alphabet channels in the middle of the day.

“I’m there. I can’t wait. I feel like all of us, we’re ready to do whatever we have to do. Whatever they want — if they need me to volunteer, they need me to sing, I’m there, and I’m ready. I’ve never been so patriotic! I’m just beyond excited,” she told the Associated Press before exploding into a cloud of glitter dust.

Although she was scheduled by Papa Knowles 2.0 to have her ass in Japan promoting I Am . . . Still Trying To Prove My Versatility she decided to stay at the crypt against orders [gasps!] to watch results of the election come in.

“I said, ‘What am I doing? I’m completely making a bad decision. I have to go home, I’m gonna kill myself if I’m not home in America,’” she said. “I knew I needed to be here.”

“I fell asleep crying and smiling at the same time,” she continuted. “I woke up with mascara running and a smile on my face!”

News flash Kid Creole, those weren’t tears running down your face. That momofuka you are married to rolled over and hawked a loogie dead in your shit out of excitement. I understand where he was coming from though.

Now back to the matter at hand – - I vote hell no. We all know that Beyonce and Solange are a packaged deal. With that being said, no one is trying to listen to SoLong get her Maya Angelou on by reciting an angry poem about Baby Daniel’s sperm donor. Save that shit for MySpace.