Good day, everyone. It is Kid Fury, yet again. Now, I have been noticing that a lot of female singers are coming out of the woodwork these days. With new sisters like Keri Hilson, Jazmine Sullivan, and Karina Pasian hitting the scenes, I thought it would be nice to serve up my “Top 10 Tips” of things one should do to make it big in the industry, just based on what I’ve seen thus far. Grab a glass of peach Chek green tea and get into this.

10. Be sexy a borderline hoe! Before you even belt out one note you need to be sending KING Magazine and Cutie Central your booty-tooted Myspace pics. Sell that ass and both lady lumps whenever you get a chance. Make sure that whenever you hit the red carpet, you stuff your goodies in something tight and get you fire engine red lipstick poppin’.

9. Remain skinny at all times! As a matter of fact, don’t even eat. Get you one of those surgical procedures that make your stomach the size of Gary Coleman’s baby toe. Then, if you’re still hungry, mix some milk and bread up in the blender and chug that shit down. NO PICKLED SAUSAGES!

8. Date a celebrity! Get out to some of these parties and find a good man to keep on your arm. The more popular he is, the better. You don’t even have to like each other, but make sure you always follow one another around and act like ya’ll are just friends. That shit is golden! If you prefer women, call Da Brat.

7. Change your style every week! Take a trip to Su Chin’s Garden of Wigs and have the manager’s number on speed dial. The people want difference. Try something new, like wearing pantyhose on your arms. Also, if you have any flaws (i.e. a big forehead) cover that up! You have to be perfect for these hoes.

6. Do a show for VH1! This may take a while. You have to either be really established or a huge failure to get them on your side. If worse comes to worst, just hit up BET or Bravo. They’ll put anybody on.

5. Say an excessive amount of dumb shit! This will have the media stalking you. Now you don’t want to go overboard with this, as it can ruin your image. Just say enough to keep the people throwing out side-eyes. You could even start a blog. Everyone loves those. Just watch out for Khia — she’ll probably have something to say about it.

4. Adopt a baby from a third world country! Now you may want to wait until super-stardom for this one, but it’s your decision. Africa is the best place to snatch up little babies for US Weekly to gag over, but you can go pretty much anywhere. Just don’t ask for the child. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

3. Go to jail and/or rehab! The consumers love a rebel/junkie. Amy Winehouse is “human crack in the flesh” [copyright Juelz Santana] and that heffa is banking off everybody’s lotto money. If you’re too afraid to snort a little bit of that white, just claim you’re going into depression. It doesn’t matter — you don’t even have to stay.

2. Make a sex tape! This is for when times get rough. It’s sort of a last resort, if you will. It would be best if you filmed yourself having sex with your celebrity lover, but it could really be you, your fingers, and a tub of Cool Whip. As long as it’s graphic, you are winning. That will get you a ton of star power.

1. Never, EVER, cross the Knowles family! Those people will kill you.

There you have it. Kid Fury’s 10 great tips to making this Rihanna money. I hope my knowledge helps. Now go out there and be famous. Oh yeah, and sing stuff too, I guess.