The Negro Awards Live From Crunkland

What’s good Crunkland, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Xilla the one with that starts with the X. Some of you may have been to my site BlogXilla.com where you can get Urban Life blogs, relationship advice and a bit of entertainment and I’ll be giving you the play by play of the Negro BET Awards.

7:46 EST Nefi is suppose to be protecting my site! Keyshia Cole’s mother and sister crash the red carpet.

7:47 EST Pretty Ricky crashes Keshia Cole’s family set.

7:48 EST The evil Debra Lee comes out to reinforce the destruction of all black people.

7:53 EST VIC – Get Silly Remix Feat Soulja Boy Bun B, Jermaine Dupri, Meerkat the Don A’nem. Is it just me or does Bun B looks like the love child of Barney & Michael Jackson?

8:00 EST Usher performs Love In The Club does the robot and skittle hops across stage while his background dancers wear ski mask!

8:05 EST MC Lyte announces the attendees of the Negro BET Awards

8:07 EST DL Hughley comes out on stage, talks about Obama, McBush, Gov Spitzer and politics. Umm DL, this is the BET Awards not MSNBC awards.

8:10 Denzel Washington’s Toe Nail Clipper, Terrence Howard and Jennifer Hudson come out on stage. Sliackback strokes his guitar while J. Hud sings before presenting Rihanna’s Flat Comb Holder [Chris Brown] with Best Male R&B Artist.

8:18 EST Fresh out of Atlanta Jail, Young Jeezy performs “Put On” and he’s not lip syncing. Lil Wayne is in audience looking extra happy. Kanye West enters @ 8:21 to ‘T-Pain’ his verse but he messes up and has to start over.

8:23 EST Kevin Hart & Eddie Murphy’s baby mother hit the stage to present Best Male Athelete. The winner is Kobe Bryant, who wasn’t there b/c he was home crying after that Shaq diss song.

8:26 EST It becomes obvious that Keyshia Cole’s family can’t read.

8:30 EST Keyshia Cole Performs Sent from Heaven, and didn’t lip sync but probably should have. She does have a phatty though! Keyshia holla at me. Lil Kim enters the stage and reeks of wack juice.

8:35 EST Cuba Gooding Jr, Nia Long and Morris Chestnut present the award for Best Female Hip Hop Artist. The winner is Lil Mama was robbed Missy.

8:42 EST Ne-Yo and his lip gloss sings Closer to Terrence Howard and skittle hops more than Usher did. Then he stop his set to stop, drop and rolled on the floor. All jokes aside this was on of the best performances of the night.

8:46 EST LL Cool J & Ashanti present the award for Best New Artist. The winner is The Dream [who is not there because he's had to buy extra glue for Nivea's weave]

8:55 EST Alicia Keys performs A Swizz Beatz “Teenage Love Affair” then sings “Weak” before bringing out SWV[where they been hiding?]. AK brings out En Vogue and wow can somebody say MILFs. She finish by performing “Waterfalls” with T-Boz and Chilli.

9:03 EST Niecy Nash talks about Madonna and Angelina Jolie adopting black babies from 3rd world countries. Adopt a white baby? Didn’t Fresh say that in Vibe? SMCH! [the act of sucking ones teeth in utter disgust] She presents the award for Best Male Hip Hop Artist toKanye West. Lil Wayne gives Mr. West a massage during his acceptance speech.

9:11 EST T-Pain shows the world he’s the ring leader and we are all in his circus. Wait is he about to sing all of his hooks? I bet Nate Dogg is jealous. I was wrong he brought out Flo Rida Evans. Someone tell Rick Ross to put a shirt on cause he’s fat and hairy. Next DJ Khaled comes out and starts yelling because everyone on stage is so hood. Big Boi & Ludacris are hood too.

9:18 EST Gabrielle Union and Derek Luke came on stage to talk about her cheerleader outfit from Bring It On and how she’s not wearing any . . . contacts. The award for Video of The Year goes to UGK featuring OutKast for “International Players Anthem.” Bun B finally took off that Purple Thriller Jacket.

9:29 EST Marvin Sapp never would have made it. But leave it up to BET to put gospel music after “I’m So Hood” and “International Players Anthem.”

9:34 EST Mary Mary & Lisa Lisa present Best Gospel to is Marvin Sapp.

And we’re back to the Niggatry!!

9:43 EST Chris Brown performs “With You, With You, With You” and then takes it down with Ciara who does us all a favor and doesn’t sing.

9:48 EST Solange, David Banner, Soulja Boy and Cassie tell y’all to vote, then presents the Best Collaboration Award to Kanye West and T-Pain [T-Pain moves in slow motion, Mr. West calls TP a genius]

9:57 EST John Legend presents Lifetime Achievement award to Rev. Al Green and did a hell of a job too. Al Green is peaches and cream!

10:02 EST Jill Scott, Anthony Hamilton, and Maxwell tribute to Al Green. Maxwell still has swag as Ne-Yo makes googley eyes from the crowd.

10:13 EST Al Green performs “Let’s Stay Together” & “Love and Happiness”[Lil Wayne is still happy as hell]

10:28 EST Free & AJ’s replacements present the award for Viewer’s Choice award. The winner is Lil Wayne

10: 31 EST The Planet Formerly Known as Pluto aka Rihanna performs Take a Bow. Am I the only one who miss the big head Rihanna? Who says she can’t sing? She sounded way better than Keyshia Cole.

10:36 EST Debra Lee still wants to destroy all Black people. No seriously she’s just introducing the winner of the Humanitarian Award, Quincy Jones.

???? EST Diddy & Lauren London take a vodka break to present the award for Best Female R&B [the winner is Alicia Keys.]

11:11 EST 11:08 EST T-Pain introduces Lil Wayne in a different top hat then perform Get Money & Lolli Pop Wayne does A Milli. It looks like there is really going to be a T-Wayne Album.