Archive for May, 2008
Casket Sharp: Lily Allen
Since this is such an amazing example of fuck effort in its rarest form I’m not going to even bother breaking this poor child down. We are just going to lay her in the arms of Kang Jeez-us and pray for the best.
Don’t Say I Never Got You Anything
Listen up kids! I have eight tickets [click here if you think I'm lying, damn] to Sunday’s Hot 97 Summer Jam concert that I am looking to giveaway but I have one tiny little problem - - distributing the tickets in time for the show. I thought I was going to receive the tickets a lot sooner than I actually did, so I had planned on paying for shipping costs myself.
Planned on. Past tense.
There is no way in hell I am using my emergency do some hoe shit funds to overnight these joints, so if you are willing to pay the fee hit me up at CRUNKGIVEAWAY@GMAIL.COM for more details. First come first served and if your ass doesn’t have a PayPal account don’t waste your time.
Well, that was quick. The tickets are no longer with us. Have fun chil’ren!
Star Tracks: Jennifer Hudson
I love Jennifer Hudson much as she loves to wear spanx but I’m going to have to vote HELL NO on her new wig. Soulja Girl needs to knock that shit askew and stomp on it, STAT! The style is cute but I just want to see a natural hair part, that’s all.
Hit up Just Jared to see more flicks of J. Hud outside of Hot 97.
I Blame Photoshop!
Kid Fury, here…at a loss for words. Miss Tyra nabbed the June cover of The New York Times Magazine and my soul all at the same damn time. So many questions are darting around in my cranium when faced with this photo. How many woodland creatures had to die for that Winehouse beehive she is rocking? Where did those hips (reminiscent of Miss Bellum of the Powerpuff Girls) come from? When did Tyra hit Oprah status? The list goes on…
I don’t think I can muster up the strength for this today.
I’m Just Saying . . .
The third installment for Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights” looks like the nightmare that occurs when kids fall asleep reading As I Lay Dying while bumping a hip-hop station on XM radio.
Hang It Up
The Heatherette dress that just won’t die is back! First D. Woods rocked it to Danity Kane’s album release party, then the pound puppy from Harlem, and now another DK member. Will it be available at Target in the months to come or something? I know one thing, if Cassie brings an egg roll to my table at Panda Express wearing this shit I am drenching that ass in soy sauce.
More flicks of Aubrey + her rented titties in J’Adore:
Girl, You So Revolutionary
Solange, excuse me, Sol-Angel probably writes her deep and thought provoking poetry down with those big ass pencils they give you in kindergarten in a tattered red notebook while drinking chamomile tea. Feel the ambiance, bitches.
During some recent down time from Mama Tina’s shoulder pad factory, Solo updated her background image on her myspace profile to the above graphic. Girl, you stay on your Gil Scott Heron shit!
The video for “I Decided” will premiere next month on BET. My right eye is wonking it out in anticipation.
[Image via Urban Hoopla]